I know her very well. Many will remember this film for children, as ... But it goes on the film, which had two heroines: Olya and Yalo, she and her other self. It's about heroin, and only about her. No, I'm not the second I ( I do not believe in these ghost and rastroyennykh, let the psychiatrists involved in this, or storytellers ). Just above example makes it clear that I am impartial. And everything that I tell in these pages, it was probably in reality. And it is there or rather who? . Our myth - our perception of the world. I know her myths, she created them in front of me, then forget something, growing up, maybe umnela and adjusted. What is it a myth? . For the sake of which all living woman? .
Risky to see the meaning of his life in a relationship with another person. The other is another world, another myth, and make it yours and those like yours, superfluous. You can not and should not control the other. To live in harmony with yourself, do not lose internal equilibrium, we must appreciate that there will always be with you, in you, even if the world will turn. For the sake of family? . But selfish people breaking a child myself, I had not made, could not, they will realize my ideals. And there again, ... ... Husband, husband? . ... Well, to me, a woman, put her single life, which, as taught by Soviet classic ... ... And in my head most clearly the image of Sappho and the island of Lesvos. Friendship with a man? . If a woman can stand, and the resistance will not soon be broken, it still ends the friendship, but no sex. To live for love? . And what we have, for the kind of love? . In that order, and we are at home more often refers to the calculation of such a union. And more glimpse at the man whose body leads us to. Then he falls in love with an intellectual mind of man, and certainly in the last turn into the soul. For it is impossible to experience positive feelings for the good stupid freak. Love, says the twenty-first century, just a chemical reaction. Love can be replaced by use of enjoyment of chocolate is considered 52 per cent of British women, because it gives the same ...
Chapter 1. Creation myths.
And all the love. That is called what happened to her, love. But let us remember that.
like the other person is not a specific person, and the image that he invented.
The image of the first love came suddenly and was struck immediately. Even the catalyst is not needed.
Nothing was known about the mind and soul, but the appearance was available for view.
It was almost twelve, a lot or a little for love? . all.
infused tart and bitter sweetness of autumn. A small village in the Far East once.
Great Empire. Along the main street, podpinyvaya pebbles, dark-haired girl is a high -.
teenager. Over her fathomless blue sky, above the noise of her trees planted on the roadside.
road. By the bitter- sweet smoky autumn leaves mixed with fresh cucumber scent is the smell.
smelt, which are dried in almost all the yards, and it just smells fresh cucumbers.
He walked towards the. Why not look forward, too, stared at his feet, perhaps, thought, or.
looked at something on the road, or specifically refused to step aside. they faced. it.
looked at what has become an obstacle to the house, and the machine slipped from her hands,.
hitting her on the leg. She stood there and could not move. He had blue eyes, presinie (as.
it may be corny ). He looked and smiled.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- With Stozhatry? .
- Near the bottom of the hill.
He raised his machine, hung up on her shoulder and said ...
And it began the creation myth. The meeting was not turned into anything, did not even have teenage friendship. She studied in the sixth, he was in the eighth. Looked at each other at recess, went to the movies.
( a cinema in the village was the only one). They are not saying a word, took the number of tickets, so.
turned out that they had their own series of 10, 14 and 15 seats at the side of the wall. She was quite.
views, a number of movies, rare words are spoken, because she had a diary in.
which she recorded her first myth and tried to write the first silly poems, like this: I first saw you when you just walked down the street, and when I saw you, I realized that I love you. The hero myth was fine, he was the most handsome boy. And every time she felt pleasure seeing him. After admiring the beautiful Musya built a myth that explained everything around. She knew, or rather had already felt that creating an object - a myth, will be responsible for him as the creator of any of their offspring. A person becomes a person, entity, when aware of its responsibility, that is trying to be objective.
Apparently, she had a highly developed intuition, because every day she met him, even if it was not supposed to, that is not in school, not a single movie theater or a special walking near his home. She could go with a girlfriend to ride a bike, and be sure to meet him. My mother asked to go to the store, and there he found himself. When she was a younger brother in kindergarten, he also passed some of his business. When went to study music Tsilya Alexandrovna, saw him again. In the summer he graduated and enrolled in an eight-year morehodku.
Thus, the myth about the first love- love that makes the world beautiful. We live in the world, it's different. In this world, is what creates an aesthetic feeling - love. This world can be managed without difficulty, because it's your world. If you want, then you selected character will appear next to your volition. Apparently, if you are properly and behave naturally, everything will happen as you dream. In twelve years, she did not want more than to see their hero. Adult romantic relationships could not be, and was able to see blue - presinie eyes and enjoy the emerging sense of.
- Do you remember that the first character looks like Genka Shestopal from the movie ...
- Of course, I remember. His name and as an actor, only one letter really does not converge.
- Many watched the movie and remember the words of the hero: ...
- You know, I think, to understand the other person is very difficult to. Understand yourself - it's daily work.
- You know, I think that happiness and to understand the other.
- I guess you're right.
To create a myth like, longing brought bodily pleasure, sensual sphere of enriched. Creator to be cool. And Galatea?.
The first boy who fell in love with her, was the son of friends of her parents. His name was Alex,.
Alexander. The world in which she lived for a time dimmed, because empty. It was not the man who would be fed emotionally. The awakening of sensibility began with the contemplation of beauty and not developed, stopped. And in the seventh grade, she fell ill, and her long time been treated at the regional hospital (and then sent to a sanatorium in the Caucasus, and was advised to change the climate).
Again, it was autumn. End of October. Trees dropping colorful leaves, and again smelled tart bitterness. Aunt Sonya (wife of a friend of her father ) came to the hospital to her after work every day was a couple of times with my children, and then began to come to a son, Sasha. They walked around the park in the hospital when she did not have procedures like the nasty cocktail of oxygen.
Handsome boy of fifteen, dark-haired with brown expressive eyes, she fell in love at first sight, but somehow not attracted her attention as the next hero myth. They talked about everything: tuition, books, parents, poets, music, dogs. He once led her to a huge old birch tree in the park and tearing off her piece of birch bark, offered to touch on both sides of the outer bark is coarse and velvety inside. He picked up the flake from the bumps and scribbled her name on the bark. Only a few weeks she realized that love Sasha.
- Moussya to you again, a young man, - said the nurse entered the room and giving her transfer.
- But I still have a purpose for today, I can not go.
- This is your cousin? .
- No, it's just the son of friends of my parents.
- Do you know if he likes you very.
- Well, aunts Val, and you say, just by his parents at work, my sister only eleven, so he comes to visit.
- Moussya Musya how stupid you are. Is the young man will ride each day here at the edge of town, that the need? . Go me, go out to him, have time for procedures.
He brought her book to get bored in the evenings were long, TV on the island is better taken to Japan, the hills prevented a clear picture of the center. On that day he brought her ... Adventure novel, she literally swallowed. Admired the main character, his generosity and proofread very carefully with a sinking heart the love scenes. Sasha always wondered if she liked the book, which he brought, and they compared their experiences. At this time the most controversy has caused a hero of the book.
- What do you think, whom he loved, really?.
- On the one hand, he put the heart of Lady Rowen, but then why Rebecca?.
- Do not you wondered why all she and her father appeared at the Isaac Scott?.
- I think that the novel was interesting, a man faced with a choice, he prefers.
- Is that all? .
- The idea is to prefer it to the beautiful, we are attracted Beauty.
- That's right, ladies and prefer.
- Sasha, what do you speak so much about Ivanhoe? .
- I'm not a hero, I am the author. More importantly, the man whom you love, or his nationality?.
- Sasha, I do not think.
- And you think, not a small. You do... do you like anyone?.
- Well, of course, but he left.
- And who is he by nationality? .
- You know, when I first saw it, I'm so confused, it's so beautiful... no, I did not think about his nationality.
- And in vain. You may have to think about it. And about the nationality and other distinctive features of human.
A few years later, already getting philological education, Moussya reading ... Rebecca was named author of the beautiful, this is the hero sees it, he hears of it, ... ... Indeed, the behavior of Ivanhoe was strange: he not only warned of the dangers of Isaac, when Brian planned to take away the value of the old man, but he defended the honor of Rebecca. And he, ... ... The body, mind and soul does not have a nationality, not to blindly trust Church dogma, but realized only when she began to create this myth.
The theme was painful for Sasha. His father - a professional soldier, mother German teacher at a local university, and their distant relative, one of the five thousand Jews left in Eretz Yisrael for nearly a year ago.
By the new year, she was discharged from the hospital, my aunt and uncle Sonja Loew was asked to stay on their.
winter vacation, and only after going home. She slept in the hallway, and Sasha is often.
the evening went to the kitchen to drink water, to look at her sleeping, and if she had not slept, sat next to a chair, and they talked about everything. You could fall in love with the mind of this young man, he also created the myth that he wanted to create his Galatea. But the creator of the two together? . It would be nice to disturbances occurred not only in the mind, but also in the body.
After the new year, she went to a sanatorium, with Sasha at first corresponded, then connection was lost. She had forgotten Sasha. And he carried his love through the years. Twenty-five years of his relatives, with whom were friends of her parents were told that Alex was in the same city, where she first fell in love, family and did not create.
Thus, the second myth about love. In love, you have to be free. But unless you love, you're not free. The Creator creates the hero and the hero also affects the creator. But the creator is primary and did not want to give the palm to the hero. Some people believe that good to be liked, but it's nice to love yourself.
- Hey, do not you sorry that you did not notice this love?.
- Why did not notice? .
- Something about love... I remember, we said that human happiness is to understand others.
- I want to be myself. Yes, I am pleased that he had been in my life.
- Is that all?.
- And what more do you want to hear?.
- Do not you wonder what happened to him?.
- Do you think through a lot of hearsay. I think that his children's love for me was.
- How you can easily talk about other. Are not you afraid that she will enter into a situation where you love, not you.
- So it will be so. They say that the heart can not command. Mutual love is rare.
- Are you still add that one loves and the other allows.
- Do you see.
- Maruska, look, she fall in love.
Turning to the eighth grade, she changed schools, parents moved to a new duty station.
After traveling the country for the fifth time from west to east and back, her family was Jewish in a small town. Love at fourteen - fifteen more than sensual. Seven - eighth-graders are not Southerners are still childish feeling, which is languishing on the body, mind and soul, and it is unclear what to do with all this. And in the southern city of all the life-giving sun penetrated, and not just something inside of languishing, and already bubbling and requires going. Girls fall in love with classmates and older children. Write little notes, call. And she fell in love, and again in the blue-eyed boy with dark curly hair and freckles on her nose. He seems to have not even looked at her, but because the heart can not command. If you are the creator, then you can not help to create. And Musya entered its third myth, which has not taken place, but the third, the present, the most vsamadelishny very soon began to exist, and after its creation belongs only to her. It it fully, not only created, but also revived the character.
- Probably, your first love is he, not the blue-eyed.
- It is not true, I already understood the aesthetics of love.
- So it and realized, felt, mean.
- Experience a sense has already been.
- But agree that you, of course, learned to feel that accompanies falling in love, but could not stop. And with this character are you so was involved that did not want to stop.
- Yes, it probably would not.
- Why did not you tell the truth?.
- What is it? .
- Here is my own and say, not to be mistaken, do not be deceived.
- But I want to be deceived, I want to live as I live, it's my world.
With her friends - classmates at recess the boys discussed. With classmates.
went hiking, dancing in the school parties, birthday parties were invited to. With the boys.
the yard and with the guys from the parallel or a year or two older friends company, went to the lake,.
the movies. When she was in ninth grade, a neighbor - a classmate told her:.
- You know, I became interested in a boy from the tenth. It is strongly wants.
become acquainted. By the way student in a class with your blue-eyed.
- Well, what he's mine, Tan, just like. And what a boy?.
- His name is Igor. I'll show it tomorrow. But I do not like it, small, only a year difference, I love older guys, though of course flattered that my interest in.
Tanya was a plump blonde with light eyes, small nose trim. such.
girls like boys. But she was not going to give him a hint of his favor, and he.
can simply talk to someone said that a girl like.
But fifteen years - the age of love, time to fall in love. Fifteen years - the first and.
true love, when the tremble of view, then from a light touch. This is what.
will remember for the rest of his life. And let them say that with age becomes a palette of love.
richer, gets a lot of shades. Those who passed the first love, did not appreciate it.
purity, they just love to thank the following for the coincidence of outlooks for the pleasure in sex, for the realization of the instinct of procreation, but first... The first, ecstatic and sad, vulnerable and unrestrained, so what then will not be. With age, many are to love as to withstand the guilt that this brings to gourmet ecstasy. Still, nothing compares to the naivete of first love.
The next day in the school cafeteria Tanya showed her boy - tenth. He at first glance did not touch either the mind or soul, no heart. An ordinary young man, slender dark-haired with a soft oval face, full lips and strong-willed stubborn chin. And the eyes.
He was not blue and not blue, and green as it only slightly tinged with another.
It 's eyes were most appealing: well-defined, with a slightly lowered.
external corners, a very unusual.
It was all so long ago that, as a strike up an acquaintance, and I do not remember exactly, and does not remember Musya. Rather, she met with him on the phone. There was a joke in town, call the unfamiliar familiar, and to tie. By the way the one who became her husband afterwards, too, because he met a girl neighbor Igor from the first floor, Galya seems. Just young people, as one would say today, pinned. They called friends and even played, but it turned out those who could change his voice. Why is it called? . I only know about it, that is, that the external form of dating the beginning and further love- dislike about it I can only guess.
When you doing a myth, you should not be passive. Ironically, it was familiar to the dispute, though not quite the dispute, it was an art, in the sense of an experiment. The experiment consisted of the following: Tanya acquainted with blue-eyed glory, which, incidentally, also did not like it, and.
Musya with Igor. Before the experiment took one more conversation about the upcoming acquaintance. And when Musya already left, girlfriend, saying goodbye in the hallway, barred her way. Leaning his hands against the wall on both sides, she said:.
- Maybe you'll soon be well with Igor will.
- We agreed to meet, not to stand near.
- Do you kissed someone?.
- No one I did not kiss.
- No? .
- And with him is not going to.
- And how you go, it will now keep it up.
Musya ducked under her arm and saying ... Then she met him, with those who did not hit either the mind or soul, or body. And surprisingly, he stole it in a. Maybe it had some magnetism. Maybe she was fascinated by the game, I will get acquainted with you, can I interest you, and you will make a step towards me. Anyway, she has chosen his destiny to become almost like Fowles girlfriend, mistress, a woman, but not French Lieutenant. It created its own myth, and the hero became an independent. My friend is not the way met a blue-eyed hero.
- Here, I warned.
- And what's wrong if I'm in love?.
- Are you sure that love? .
- Listen, you're the same as I do, why do you reproach me, kind of like....
- That's right, the same.
- Do you think that this is not love? . And he kisses me....
- Do you love yourself, you do not mind being with you now, he was. You just feel what you given.
- What are you?.
- Is it clear?.
Thus, the myth of the third. Of course, it is better to love. In your world you are - the Creator of beauty, where all of your law. But do not let the hero to become an independent, otherwise it will rise up against who invented it, you.
Chapter 2. It all begins with love?.
How did the love that was lack of love, to whom could not forget for many years? . To judge the human mind, it is necessary to talk with him on various topics. To evaluate his mental qualities, we must be able not to be selfish. We must have at least some experience and understand that even though you yourself for yourself and only beloved, but you live in a world where millions of loved ones. Of course, the body. Age, hormones. first. No, that was at first difficult to remember, because then there was a dislike. But what to say on the evening of a dispute with a neighbor, classmate, was.
Musya always achieved what she wanted, but sometimes it turned out that was producing unnecessary. If you feel free, it is easy to do what is planned, because it all depends on you. We just have a hankering to get the desired result. Acquainted with Tanya's ... We talked a couple of times, looked at each other in school, like the one concluded that it is possible and to continue to ...
She came to his house for the first time, and it turned out that the apartment is located as well as Tanya,.
like a corridor entrance door in the narrow space of two walls. At home there was nobody, he is one. Half an hour sat and chatted about this and that. Leaving home, she stayed near the door. And then he made up his mind and did what, why, apparently, and invited her. He kissed her. It was for her first time. no. This is not a timid girl kissing cheeks, not a passionate kiss on the lips. He limited her personal space, his arms on either side of them, and leaning against the door, broke the space. And she. Everything inside has turned over when it merged with its lips lips. Yes, kiss, first kiss can remember how it was good, what new feelings arise, and may continue: Fu, as contrary to. But before that, before it happens, what a storm of feelings. And you know what will be, you know what he will do, and you want it and are afraid, because she did not know how to kiss, because the unknown is not only attracts, but also scary. A generation of peer asks: ... Chernyshevsky's ... Or maybe it was then body contact with the chemical process has begun? .
She studied at the tenth. By the inclination of the body joined the desire of the mind. books. In those years it was fashionable to read. It turned out like one and the same. For example, ... He bragged a little bit, or, as they said then, was drawn, trying to impress her with his knowledge in various fields. And he seduced her. They even once smoked together, or rather he had sinned by this, and she reached out to show that the adult. And cigarettes were some stupid bell ...
In a world that she created, was the freedom. The experiment was a completely clean. The boy was not her, but she met him, calling him, you have taken the initiative. She agreed to meet with him and decides when they meet. She fell in love with his body, though, maybe it was just an interest in the unknown. The body was drawn. They love the game resumed as many times as they met. She forgot the blue-eyed hero of his first myths. She fascinated a new hero. His appearance was attractive to her: and the soft oval of her face and full lips and straight nose, strong-willed and stubborn chin, and the Semitic clearly defined green eyes. She even began to find that they are somewhat similar in appearance, it is also green eyes and dark hair, and her body always responds to what makes it. Let's not play the hypocrite, it all starts with the body. But they do not start kissing in the doorway as he came. Although the exercise of the mental are consistently coming in bodily. Union of mind and body - is already well. In her new world was conceived. It was her love, then love is a stranger and her lack of freedom, now it is the period of free love. The world of myth, stained with bright bold colors, replacing the soft pastel and dark bondage of love.
- Maruska, that you allow yourself?.
- Well, no more than you currently.
- You have a strange relationship.
- And that to me for a pen with him walking down the street or in a movie?.
- Is this bad?.
- What is bad? .
- But you give him not only this allows.
- He told me, too, not only it allows.
- Yes, he just uses you, if she do not mind spending time with a young man, why would he refuse?.
- I think he has, and others, from whom he receives more.
- Moreover, why did you meet him, you're just one of many.
- No grass soul... You think I do not like it at all?.
- Come on, do not worry, probably like you....
- Or maybe you're right, I do not know how to love, I do not bring joy my relationship with him.
- But love - this suffering.
- You're wrong, love the passive writing only in novels and in the life of love must bring joy and pleasure.
- So do what you will please.
It provoked him to create his own world charm of the entire tenth grade until May, until he joined the army. More often met her, she in a short robe, all wore mini, and is easily unbuttoned pugovichki. Nothing objectionable, they were not engaged, just examined the body of each other to a certain limit. When you love the body, his own, someone else, you want to pet him and cuddle. Petting - it's more than just a kiss, but less than sex, is what they can afford. They were engaged in a game to start to better understand the partner's body, his desire. Both knew that for which there are, but for some reason, first sat at a distance, and then he come up with anything to touch it. That would show a sudden a new method of Sambo, the joke was taken to play the game like ... Slowly he drew her to him, hugging, kissing began, unbuttoning buttons on a dress. It was not annoying, repetitive game. she agreed to. In her world, so it must be a hero: a proactive, tireless and willing to experiment. Kissing her face, lips, neck, he fell to his chest and caressed her hands and lips, and then hand slid lower. And how delightful it was in the winter evenings, going to accompany him on the landing, stand, clinging to him all over, hiding in his warm sheepskin coat looks from envious neighbors. For Musi was all exciting, she liked everything, it finally fell in love and forgot that created their characters. Chemical reaction was slow love, sex in the Soviet Union was not, things are not called by their names.
Most of their meeting ended with the arrival of her mother from work that day, which she thought very often, he will not hurry. They went to her room, though the habit is always.
spent time in the hall. Instead of cool sex games, he decided to show her.
another method of self-defense should have been seen to defend it from him. Then he picked up.
in his hands, hugged and carried to the aquarium joke, saying that her place with goldfish.
Touching it is true, it stirred up. After all, sex games like nekkinga very good for a gentle girl, but there are not very suitable for young perevozbudivshegosya that the outcome of his passion does not get. She did not know was whether he had a real sexual experience, but knew that their games are a test for it.
The body is not only the instincts, it is wise and clever, the body can have a soul, but no, not in.
religiously. Everyone - it's a whole world does not want all the worlds be controlled.
outside. What happened next made her understand that it is not only interesting to talk to and enjoy his body. She realized that the other person is the same as it had.
is the desire of the body, mind and soul.
Behind the wall in the neighborhood lived a young woman named Raya. It was not ten years older.
it, and ten years younger than her mother. This neighbor was both a good friend and.
come chat with his mom about women, but with Moussya his maiden on the. On the day of Paradise in the kitchen drinking tea with her mom. Suddenly they heard a noise, then an exclamation Musi. When a couple of minutes they came out of the kitchen, he was pale, was standing near the door, and she was scared did not want to let him go.
In the evening, Rice explained to her that the young men are fainting from love games that do not have.
continue. She listened to her neighbor, she realized all that she said to her, but because it's nice to know his body, his body. but to a certain edge.
- Musya what you are doing it as long as mom is not home?.
- Nothing bad.
- You see, do not fool.
- What do you mean? .
- Well, yes, but who brought him to this state?.
- No one argued that crap you're talking about, maybe he just hungry or dizzy.
- Similarly, hungry... You do not say crap though. Itself is not funny?.
- Ray, what you want from me? .
- I am very excited for you.
- We just kiss and all.
- Apparently so kiss....
- Come on.
In late spring, he joined the army.
Chapter 3. One must live honestly.
For her first student began the year in Odessa. The myth, created by many months, was left unfinished. Although, he still ended at a certain stage. The hero has been chosen correctly. All events that are logically developed over two years, there have been safely. And I had to do the next myth, as they begin a new period of life. A chemical reaction of love was slowly, but was. A year later, when she realized that the world created by it, loses appeal, decorated with yet another myth the legend.
But while it tried to drag in another myth. The course in a parallel group learned the young man, the namesake of the famous singer and the son of the chief engineer of the port. Very active and intelligent, he began to care for Moussya. Movies, concerts, exhibitions. Her album was the most extensive, so she listens to lectures on mathematics professor, talking about a set to a certain extent, that at the workshop on hydrology, and this in Zatoka, where the whole group went to the tents and guitars. He served as its variant works on descriptive geometry, accompanied her to the dormitory, bringing its portfolio, both in school, drove through the old streets of Odessa for a walk. And she repeated the whole year the same thing:.
- I like the other.
- And I like you.
- Do not walk behind me, today I 'm not going anywhere with you.
- Go to the home of the North Concert Arkasha it with the ...
- We will not work.
- I just invite you to.
Smart people say they love one another allows. Smart people say that, well, let them love you, it's good. But as it was hard that her loved one to whom she was not going to reciprocate. She was not tried in a foreign myth. She knew that this lack of freedom. But the hero was not there.
- Musya, why are you tormenting Vovka? .
- But I do not like. I know he's good, but my heart does not lie.
- You just do not want to live a real life, invented a hero of some. Yes he may be, the hero of your novel is not.
- Well, let. I like it. Maybe it will be that we 'll meet again.
- Musya, so what? . The more he wants more than you can give, and you're on such a link does not go. Well, you can not be anything good.
- Do not treat me. What do you intervene? .
- Musya, well, what is love... Well, did you have something, well, kissing. You know, the other in twelve years kiss. This is similar to mania.
- Well, consider that I am maniac.
- I told you not to say. I appeal to your mind. Humble yourself, forget it. And that stupid wilt. There are so many other guys. Vova for you dry. Do you have a lot in common.
- That's why I did not need it. I may like to fight with difficulties.
But she still decided that he would try to create another myth is a small, guided by the proverb: like cures... In her heart she cherished the hope that the first myth to the green-eyed hero is not finished yet, because even in the life of the creator can interfere with the circumstances which, alas, . The Creator is, unfortunately, only a subject, and acts as appropriate, and not in spite of them.
Thus, the attempt to insert into a myth. At the same time we like a lot of people. Someone is attractive in appearance, some erudite and well- pleasing in his conversation, and someone is kind and open heart. The girls in various stages of falling in love with the singers, artists, classmates, bullies and other district. Musya ( she had learned as early as the tenth grade ) fell in love with the singer's home pleasant appearance and a unique beauty of timbre lyric baritone. Green-eyed hero of myth, even laughed at it because it's really stupid - to create an idol. And at the Odessa Institute of freshmen students was today would say, ... Musya immediately brought acquaintance with him, but beyond the stage of ... The ... He was the creator, and all relations with Moussya remained in a phase of ... And of the nearly six-month interest thirty years later it remains only a memory. It's his word about colors. When he came to her, and on the table in a simple vase stood a magnificent bouquet of red roses is banal, given to Volodya, he said: ... Truly a ... Among the users of the site of extensive ...
Naruto slowly whirl a year. It is sometimes thought of her green-eyed hero, but circumstances did not allow to change something, they are often stronger than even the creators of. For they are true, and the creators just create a true myth. And the truth in all its. Truth is - the subject of glasses. Truth 1 - to improve vision. Truth 2 - Solar. True 3 - branding. True 4 - to improve vision with glasses geliomatik. And all of these options - the truth, but truth is still one that knows the owner of the subject. In general, the circumstances of the alienated hero creator. But there was a strange metamorphosis. Probably, it is logical. The soul languished in inactivity. The body of the creator missed, it is accustomed to caress. And just because the creator is required worship, not in vain in the cults of various nations have such a ritual. Since the creator is not available to mere mortals, that is a simple way to pay their respects. Instead, it is inaccessible to the creator of the image available - wood, clay, stone - which umaschivayut incense, decorate, bring gifts. The body of the creator missed, hero worship him. By the way it should be noted that the hero has to be uncomfortable in the circumstances. For the habit becomes nature. A true hero is always a pleasure to serve the Creator in one form or another.
All these arguments are only approach to what not everyone can afford to admit. If there is no hero, the creator of the (then he and the creator ) will find a replacement, or will find another hero or heroine. Musya found an outlet in lesbian amusements.
- Are you mad with that for the relationship you have with Olko? .
- How do you know? .
- Do not play the fool. While maybe no, but then what? .
- It 's not my. Nothing I do not want this. We just Olko.
.
- What is abnormal? .
- I'm not going to teach you, you just create another myth, a very different.
- Do not worry, it's all nonsense, it is not a lesbian, let alone the more I. I am nobody and do not change anything. It's just a physiological body receives the charge. What do you suggest I do masturbate?.
- No, well, you're a fool....
Nothing vulgar or foul in relation to the classmate was not. Of this sexual experience was not available at the Musi and the one who became comforter her body, too. But they both had the same experience with the opposite sex: kissing, hugging, petting. They lay with Olga in the neighboring beds head to head. They had no desire to 'go for the full program ', so they met each other only breast tenderness. If a lie on his back, the other lying on her stomach, stretched out his hand, could fondle breasts girlfriend, open hand to stroke the nipple as possible, gently and easily, moving it back and forth in a steady rhythm, and then down to the stomach area and just below. These surrogate caress them and arranged. Although it is possible some of them and fondled himself below the zone of the abdomen, while a friend of her finger gently cast his areola, then rising to the neck, to his lips....
For nearly a year as its chief myth would not have existed. No, she had dreams of a hero. They were romantic and erotic with passionate hugs and kisses. And once she saw a dream in which her character suddenly gone, gone. This could only mean one thing: she can not hold it. From this conclusion it was bad, and somehow not in itself.
- What's this?.
- Had a bad dream.
- Who are?.
- Do not you guess?.
- Hey, well, how much can you torment yourself? .
- He's gone from me, or rather just disappeared, I could not hold it, could not do anything, such desperation....
- So maybe you do not love him? .
- Hey, what are you started up? . I can not forget it.
- Well, this is not necessarily the love. It is your self-interest. You spend all experiments, the world is doing, the characters are creating.
- So what? .
- Musya, you do what you want, but do not harm others.
- Who else? .
She wanted to make a heroine of another myth, she has created two small imitations of the myths about the poet and lesbian games, but... Truth is a. The myth of the green-eyed hero has become a true. And the truth was only a surrogate for truth. True first - I like the ... However the second - I like the imitation of lesbian games with a friend. However the third - I like to be the heroine of another myth. But... the creator could not exist in idleness, and the simple truth of the characters to exchange the truth. She was a real creator. Although it is not entirely fair. In Russian, the concept of the genus has yet to clear boundaries. Creator - he was a man. True, there are common nouns kind, but they are often the first person, and end in- a,- I, and refer to male or female family. But those that belong to the second person, they really only male. Basically, these words refer to the profession: a doctor, accountant, teacher. But these words are spoken, and forms, some of them have already moved way to the book: a teacher, the doctor, the secretary. With the book we are accustomed, speaking no longer cut ears. All the usual, women are actively engaged in what men should do: to be doctors, teachers, accountants. But the word ... It turns out that she was the creator, or Pygmalion and Galatea, or create your Galatea. Fu, as unnatural, and therefore unfair. What to do? .
Approaching May Day celebrations. Musya gathered in the Carpathians, where he served. I do not know why she suddenly decided to take such a step, and such relationships are not supported. No one owes nothing promised. But she knew from somewhere, where he serves, and decided to go to him. It was a very stupid idea, because it was not the truth.
- Where are you going?.
- You know yourself and.
- A mind shedding last? .
- I want to see it.
- Why? . How much can you cling to what is not? . You do not know. You're all up. This is not love, and the dependence.
- Who speaks of love?.
- You live in a fantasy world.
- So what? . Do you think that when I arrive, he refuses to see me and talk to me.
- Well, why is refused. He will flatter your visit. But you thought what would happen next? .
- No matter what.
- You will go through our city, if you meet friends, what do you say? .
- Hey, why must meet someone. There will be a problem will solve.
- And where are you going to find him in a strange city?.
- What are you so worried? .
Year of the creator of inactivity, the so-called creativity is simple, has led to the loss of skills, dampen. The road took the night. unfamiliar places. Without warning, without even thinking that it might not be on-site rental, teaching... But she was lucky. It got to the ancient Transcarpathian village on the river Latorica. She was 18, he 19. Rannemayskaya spring Sunday morning in church bells. And she began to re- create the myth, to do so, as she knew. For a year she had missed his body, that I forgot about his soul. For a year she had yearned for his worship is that some of the distorted truth, and truth was a lie. I know that he has not forgotten its. I know that he was waiting for her. I know that he wanted her, and she... she just came to do the continuation of the myth, it was just her life, her world, and the rest was of no importance.
Imagine his joy, puzzled surprise when he saw her at a checkpoint. No, he did not think she came to him specifically. Of course Musya immediately supported the conjecture that passing that with my friends, that for half a day. He was released in the firing ( and here she was lucky, could not get anything, because who is she? ) By the way, it looks like it is not very. Actually, it was a strange love. She created an image and a cherished it, and a true hero, a man who was behind this way, indeed, stood behind him. On the beach they went Latorica three: he, she and one of his commanders, officers. It can be seen except under the protection of this man he could not get away with it. First sat, getting used to each other, talked, said the event ( it was something like a picnic ). Then he led her to walk along the beach. She walked beside him on her invented world, it is not giving a report fantasies. In this world, too, was a spring Sunday afternoon. High Beach Cold rapid river, on which stood an ancient castle Palanok. Above his head a bottomless sky, verdant grass under his feet, still, as in reality. But in her world, not only demanded the creator of worship. In her world, the hero must feel that without the worship of the creator of the world is gray and dull. In her world, the hero must repent, that worshiped other creators.
- Do you then think only about themselves.
- So what?.
- Why do you always mention about love. You do not want to be with his desires.
- If he wants something, he says, and I can go to meet him, if I want it.
- The equality of play? .
- Yes, I do not want to be ...
- No one doubts, yielding only a pleasant, men do not like to impose on them anything.
- No one likes.
- That would have acted honestly, and not to invent.
He also for some reason she was talking about his Odessa fan who literally follows her. Fans who yearns for her to have forgotten their myths. Fans who proves that he who is far, that in the past and now must live. So she came to live next day. But there is no return to the past. You can go back to the point of change and continue to develop relationships, but to be in a state of peace for a long time, it is hardly possible. Although there can be, this state of nirvana. But then neither passion nor of suffering....
And he's probably confused. By keeping it in the river, too, carried a nonsense of the previous AWOL, the girls of easy virtue. In general, the usual chatter. His mind has not shown itself, and it meant something. Her mind is strongly represented by the myth. And the soul... it is not the place where the world is ruled by material. His body was corny like it. And she was afraid. After all, the hero would be a creator. She no longer control your world. He was not a rapist. He wondered. Why is she here? . Even the not so. It just somehow did not believe him, and. What? .
They sat side by side, he put his arm around her, hugging her body. She clung to him, a little turned around, responded to a kiss. He became more insistent kiss her, while continuing with his left hand to hold the shoulders, and stroked her right breast. Already he began to unbutton her flushed her blouse, deciding that the relationship should be continued. As a simple man. They used to be the creators. And it was all a myth contrary. Do not subject it to him, and he was the one she creates a world of dreams and fantasy. Of course, it is unnatural, and therefore unfair.
And as we would like to portray the drama. She gave herself to him. He even more became convinced is, in its irresistibility and the charm. Then she would be going through what happened. Perhaps there could be started and tragedy. It would be realized even then that fate had it past all the blue-eyed to him. And he is a hero of myth - a real hero. It is not only the body but the mind and soul. Only passion without love is flawed. A man needs the respect, man needs a friendly environment. She realized that without his character can not be, but do not want, neither take nor give. She knew if he would give himself, then it's over. He will get what has long wanted in his own world. And she? . It is known that the characters often refuse their demanding artists, delivering their. Then on the shore of Latorica Musya suddenly realized that she did not gave the hero a body that was drawn, was not she has developed his mind, not his soul, she formed. This is a strange character, which she won in a dispute. And what to expect from a dishonest act, even if does not want to admit it. Yes, she fell in love. Yes, she was afraid. Yes, she left with a sense inseparable from her hand to the man who made his hero.
What he thought of her arrival, I do not know. Of course, at first believed her, that she just passing through. Then, when they spent the afternoon together, kissing and re- learning each other's bodies, he thought that his men desire to be satisfied. And it (the fear and uncertainty ) told him that there is another. Then, a couple of weeks we received a letter from him. So, nothing special, but at the end of a sentence, say those who would molest, that her husband would come and they will not find it. Well, what a husband? . It was not her man, he was her hero. Or three days that she spent on the road with him, she had hastily married and had to frighten suitors.
- Are you happy that he has visited?.
- Yes, I was with him a half-day.
- Is it worth half a day with all of your efforts?.
- I got what I wanted.
- Who are you kidding? .
- I'm not kidding. I saw him, he was back with me.
- Musya, I ask whether it is true. Any guy in his place would be well behaved.
- And that's not necessarily. I told him I had come for him, I figured out that with my friends on a trip in Transcarpathia.
- Generally fine. And then you made this? .
- Leave me alone.
- I can not talk to you, but you yourself eventually come back to this conversation.
The most dangerous man sin came to us from the chaos, his parents love and fear, its function - the protection period - the confidence limit - the conscience, the result - is unpredictable, his name is - a lie! ...
Someone like an actor trying on the roles of lover, husband, friend, or servant of the king, playing in a play called ... And someone creates his own world, and even tries to create its own laws sometimes in spite of the existence of. She was not used to throwing started, even if it's not exactly what you want. After all, if you do not like that around, and the objective of you does not depend on, you can change your perspective on an object. You - the creator.
Chapter 4. Bookmark complexes.
Life teaches a person, but not everyone wants to learn. Returning from the Carpathians, Musya continued to nurture his love - dislike. She lived in a dream world and did not want to know the reality of. When she saw his hero in the army uniform, at first confused, because a year ago it was different. And how did not like was the hero, whose image she created and nurtured for a year, and the young man who stood before her at the gate. There was some awkwardness with him and with her hand. Only we do not change during the year, because we communicate with them constantly, seemingly every day we see in the mirror. But only our closest loved always attractive, as they have not changed. After this trip Musya was in a strange state. Apparently, she realized that the circumstances do not always obey your wishes. Yes, you can put the hero in certain conditions, but if it's a good true hero, will act in accordance with the terms of, not despite them.
To be close to a hero have to be a part of his life, should be his friend, but friendship, men and women... this is nonsense, this has been said. Then you should at least marry him, but that stamp in the passport was never a guarantee of. And who said that he wants his marriage of 20 years but still is on it? . (As subsequent events showed, she became part of his life. ) Yes, and that total could be her, the daughter of an officer and his young men from southern Jewish town. Here it is the beginning of the complexes. It is, of Russian culture in the Soviet world view, she, whose great-grandmother and grandfather were Jews, and his mother and father - there is no. She fastened his soul to the body of a Jewish boy. But the bird with the fish do not live. And the attitude to the Jewish question in 70-80 years in the Union a little different from today. ... No, he is a hero. And the hero will do as you like creator. And the world around this, how we want it to be.
When he returned a year later from the army, she was disappointed in their chosen profession, moved up on correspondence and worked in the fourth administration, preparing for a medical. Although, knowing her character and herself as a physician, his mother discouraged her from doing so. When Musya met again with Igor, was the end of July. He came to know about the rules of admission to one of the capital's universities. And they met unexpectedly for her in the yard of her home. He walked to her, without warning, and she did not expect. Myth and the world in which she lived, no longer dependent on her. She saw him after a year of separation, a sudden. So unexpected, right, for it was her arrival in Transcarpathia. The first thing he said is that, demobilized, she was in Odessa, but it was no longer there. The hero is not forgotten those who loved him. After all, in fact, the hero can not provide the attention to the Creator, but tot-to always loves, in whom so much invested. The Creator can not be weak, although he needed thanks to the hero. In the myth, it's become a ritual in which the specified place, time, etc.. And in that day, she was not ready to see him on the day she returned from the hospital laboratory, which gave to the biopsy material after the operation ( it occurred to remove the birthmark on his leg ). Novocaine it did not work, cut the leg, not extirpate the mole, the seam was sold as soon as the stitches removed, the leg hurt... And then she meets him, it is not ready for this meeting. After all, we do not want to see us weak, experiencing physical pain, and want to be in the eyes of a strong and confident.
I knew well Moussya, as now I see it from the. Here she is turning the corner near the fence of the kindergarten, and already sees the whole court house. Along the path that runs diagonally across from the entrance, is a young man. She soon realizes that he is. Inside her slight panic, it is mobilized. While before she rode the bus to pieces from the pain that she had even given way, so she was not good. But now she sees him again after a year of separation. Before that, only phone calls a couple of times.
- Hello, I to you. Are you this?.
- Hey, what happened, why are you here?.
- That I 'm asking you, what's the matter?.
- Come home to me.
- Yes, I'm just out.
- But you are to me. Come on, I can not stand long.
- go. I'm glad to see you. You say, what happened?.
What changed this meeting? . To hide the post-operative bandage she wore a purple suit - midi, and when they came to her house (do not stand in the street after years of separation ), she ran off to change clothes. Chose a blue flowered mini, and a bandage above the knee all the spoil. She loved her body, it was ideal proportions and precisely in line with all parameters of the ... She knew that he liked her body, otherwise he would not caress him. After all, he was neither skromnikom or a virgin, and she was not the only one whose body he had to learn, but for some reason he went to her. And by the time they were familiar with the fourth year. And at that time began to develop complex, whether from physical discomfort, pain, or the kind of unaesthetic leg in a sling. In order not to develop the complex, she stared into his face. And it seemed to her plump, not clipped... Of course, when her parents are gone, leaving them alone, and as always, he began to kiss her, she made the mind through the body to remember that he was her hero, but... She was not prepared for the meeting, . In general, it is a myth. For some reason she thought that a period of not loving.
- And here you're not telling the truth.
- Why is not talking.
- You were in love with him all the time about what myths do you keep mentioning?.
- This is not love, it's an obsession.
- But is it love. ...
- But I really do not always like it.
- You just do not get what you want.
- I know he's not a prince on a white horse.
- Nevertheless, you love it you're a prince, and she came up with it, here is your myth.
In medicine, it did not go, thinking of biological faculty, but then decided to change everything. She returned to the city where he lived, and continued his studies at a local institute. the meeting resumed. She did not go to the dormitory, she lived in apartments, swapping them for two years, four. But he always came, in whatever area of the city she had not lived. Is the hero could not without a creator? . He came to her in her fourth floor a few blocks from his third. Somehow, these visits over many years it will be remembered with a smile. It is believed that the turning point - it's fate, punishment.
In February, they were twenty years. He was still, she just turned. He came. Again, her script has failed. Love the game went away, and everything did not happen the way it used to. He did not want to restrain themselves more. Down with all the clothes. We already know each other. His actions were so intense and the pressure that it is frightening. Was it an attempt to violence? . No, she wanted him, and he felt it. But she did not know what real sex. She was frightened that he malosderzhan. She liked their early sexual games, and even had no idea that she was teasing him. How welcome were his caresses: delicate demanding kisses, which feels the whole body, revealing a touch to the chest, abdomen, thighs - affection, had never before crossed a certain border. It was from him she learned her body, he woke in her sensuality. She knew that it was impossible to continue it, in which there is continuing. Over the years, dating hundreds of kisses, hugs, desires. And then... He decided that the lingering uncertainty can no longer be. Lying next to her, he unbuttoned her light robe, took off his shirt, and she clung to relish his chest. Jeans and other clothes, too, were dropped in an instant. And then she felt it almost completely. And then she was frightened. It was absolutely uncontrollable fear. We fear what we do not know. She did not know the male nature of the excited. You can laugh at the situation really was like the anecdote about the pre-revolutionary provincial girl. Rather, Musya resembled a girl from such a joke. It now has sex. It now has access to sex education. And then what? . Or little boys on the beaches of the Black Sea? . It then Musya realized that if it the fault of the men of excitation, it's great, but then... then what happened as a fool she behaved, she, of course, forgotten. But he did not get what we want. He dressed silently walked into the hall and was about to leave. How Musya not thought then that moment, she remembered only that she had feared, while in the hallway. He had the expression on his face... What was he thinking? . To whom and what? . He goes out a hero? . No longer a world in which negative and the heat. There is a cold February day chilled. She suffered a terrible state of helplessness, when caught up with him, saying the name of a favorite, and he went and did not look back. Only after passing a dozen steps in the snow-covered sidewalk, he turned and saw her half naked and said to go home.
Then, a couple of decades, when she read the poems of Anna Akhmatova, teaching literature, she always remembered that moment, it's a woman's despair when one phase relationship has ended, and the other was not acceptable for someone. Although the situation in the poem is a little different. But the ...
A few days later he came back. As a young and wants to be a temporary failure? . Scared, because never before seen him so, as on that day in February. Instead, it has not received anything. Although, it seems, the first sex was an ideal time - eleven minutes or something like that. It was so unlike the half-hour and more hugs, caresses, kisses, and then talk again... And now for the first time that it was in any way. just put up. He probably felt it. And then acted like a fool, and not even as a fool. Citing himself up, he asked? .
Indeed, after this is not necessary to create any myths. In her world, which he fenced it everyday relations, came to reality. The drama and tragedy that are not played out in the Carpathians. To avoid getting bogged down in developing complexes, it was necessary to continue to build their own world, which exists by its own laws.
A few days later he slipped and broke his leg. When doctors were allowed to walk, came to her on crutches, then with a cane, limping. What amused him when he recalled a few years these meetings? .
- Hello. How are you?.
- I was lying, being treated.
- And what the doctors say?.
- Everything heals like a dog.
- How long you lie? .
- Do you want me to come to you?.
- I want to, but how do you come? .
- Nonsense, I'm on crutches.
And he came. It was a strange meeting. It is not for him, which was difficult to walk, and he to her. And it is not the reason - his parents. Not for days, they were sitting at home. The hero could not without a creator, as creator of his character without.
And again, it began a period of love- dislike. She wanted to be with him, and so loved. She wanted the old relations without explicit sex and, therefore, did not like. Love is like a chemical reaction in which the catalyst is the desire to. And he obviously had other, with whom he could spend time. But he still continued to meet with her, something he did not let go, and he did not break off relations. They parted only a year later, initiated the breakup, as well as dating, she was. Reason, of course, has been found. He was in an open relationship, it all arranged. Since it was not bad, and even, perhaps, a well-. And it 's nothing new these relationships were no longer able to. Something went wrong. On her part, had a lot of things to discuss and far-fetched. And he, he was not going to change anything in the relationship. Experience comes with age, Musya do not live real life and many did not think. Did a stupid, she was guilty, tried to justify his eyes that he provoked her. She had completely forgotten that he was not a creator, that she does so anyway. He did not admit his guilt, she was mad at him and themselves.
- Musya, be true to herself even though.
- I am always truthful.
- You know that man is free to choose. You no to anything does not force.
- Yeah, I made the wrong choice, but I wanted to be with him.
- You go for the easiest way. Do you live superficially, compose myths. But you're not in the myth, you are in reality.
- Why are other possible, but I can not?.
- You are wrong again. No one can. All are responsible for everything, but in different ways. You're not stupid, Musya, all you have is your ...
- But I like it.
- Are you sure of that? .
- I feel.
- It's just part of the whole, there is little sense. You're all up. How many times have you looked at him and was surprised by what you saw in him. Yes, and you're eyes are not closed when kissing.
- So what. I just wanted to see what it is when I'm kissing.
- I looked? .
- What are you driving at? . He still likes me. To this man I'm ready to do anything. I created it for themselves.
- But you do not want to be with him.
- Yes, just can not go. We now meet for sex.
- But before it was.
- I do not know.
They tried again to pull together, even though they have no quarrel, just a different look at some things. A neighbor of Paradise took part, brought them together and asked what they had nedovyyasnili. Igor said that he would not mind to continue the relationship, and Musya turned away and refused to even answer. In general, they broke off all relations because it was formed by the time the mass of the complexes, but he did not understand that inexperienced and could not or would not speak to her openly about their views on what is happening. The myth, which she created, deeply inserted into a reality, and the important role played here the usual sex. It turned out that there is no rapture, bliss, and bliss was only in the preparatory phase. He was selfish, inexperienced lover, and another had to deliver her from the acquired systems, simultaneously creating new. And the hero, who seemed to her, she created a long time, it was not possible to live in a fantasy world, but in real life she did not want to.
After all, in reality, and so proceeds much of human life: family, education, work. So at least sex life should be what you want only you. But this is not always possible, because we must find the second, who agree to live according to your ideas. This is not only a sexual relationship, but friendships. Again and again, in a circle. Friends do not have, need to be friends with them. Even if this phrase is anecdotal, the life and sometimes it seems a joke, it all depends on which angle you look at it. Faced with the real wishes of the second person, she realized that she did not like this particular person, but just a frivolous manner bewitched hero. It is far-fetched, but not actually created in the image and likeness. It turned out that the hero - an independent person. And whether it is necessary to control the person and whether you can? . If it is to subjugate, the need to be mad, soulless, impersonal? . Maybe if she wanted to, probably, their relationship continued, but she ran away from it created the world. And just kind of longing, a feeling of something unfinished left in her soul. She tried to forget as much as possible, it strikes out the life events associated with it. In the end, she knew, and remembered only that it was in the mythological world, but in reality - tried to hide it in the depths of consciousness, not to remember. It was only a dream rising out of control things from the depths of the unconscious is, and has formed a recurring dream in which she appears in some homes, comes in some rooms. Houses with small type on the outside grow to enormous size within a. And she goes on some internal stairs, transitions from one block to another, even up until the tenth five-storey building, and the twentieth floor, but it may come down to the level of minus ten. What she seeks, she will never, in a dream. Because the myth, a mirage does not exist in reality, because as soon as you penetrate into their essence, they disappear.
In the fictional world you live so long, has not yet been given a lot to learn. But much better experience in my youth. While not a ... If the basis of love, sex between a man and a woman, his lack of relationship between them will never have the love. If the foundation of love and mind, with it you should be able to contain some of the feelings, even jealousy, especially when there is no reason for it. If you can not imagine a harmonious love without the spiritual connection that is friendly, then the other can do EVERYTHING. Love should be based on trust. And friendship is based on trust. What's more? . So, friendship. Although it is very rare. It's not selfish to give give relationship. In true friendship should not be who and how many times has done for other large or small, when it was required. Friendship is when you want, when you rashly promised to someone that you can not perform as well in each state, and he does it for you without asking anything in return. Friendship for men ( women simply do not have ), it is when you slept with one girl, and did not quarrel, and did not find out who is worthy, and accused her of all mortal sins, and not left her two. Friendship is when there is trust, when you do not betray not afraid, even if the one you think is wrong in another. You just try to rectify the situation and do not demand explanations and justifications. If it were possible to provide such friendship between a man and a woman, it would be fantastic lovers. But, as Yeshua Ha -Notsri, the hero of Bulgakov's novel, cowardice - the biggest flaw. And we are afraid of themselves and each other and do not believe anyone. With experience comes an understanding of not only themselves but also other. When you love and trust, when you're for the other, at the request of others commit anything, supposedly desired him, and he pretends to be, and do not really need, then comes despair. It is the human sense. If you can get out of its quagmire, it will become stronger. But you have to live with the fact that you betrayed. So what? .
A year later he left the country forever. He changed his name, which was very important in northern Scandinavia. Translated into Russian, it meant power, the host. And if we assume that the dreams she was looking for him, his hero, then, yes, it was impossible to find. It was the Scandinavian legends, and the name, again, it was north, God is the hero, or whether the people live as long as people remember their names. If you change the name change and the fate of. He decided to change the reality and the other was to create the world around them.
plug the head. sex.
Deciding to tell Moses, thought so, as Henry Miller's ... Like he 'll get over the art which is still pointless. But the sex does not remember anything. It is true. Really it was so bad and uncomfortable, it should be forgotten? .
Sex, of course, is not a myth, this is that neither is the real reality. Of course, it would be good for the majority of bigots here to put a string of love, but... to be honest, it does not. That's all fine words and noble gestures. Well, if you so desire, you can add about sex without love, which is immoral, but the physiological and natural. But love without sex... I mean the love between a man and a woman. Living with a person to be with him, to convince his love and sex - there is a lack of standards. If you live out of debt with the patient to whom sex is not available, this flawed partner, when he speaks of love - a despot. I think that love and sex, and marital relations is not simply an important role, as Home. Perhaps Freud was to go to far, giving a man sexually dominant role, but do not hanzhestvovat. Most of us did not appear out of the tube and not by budding, and in bed, not only perform the conjugal duty.
Describe the sexual feelings is difficult, because that gives a higher pleasure of the observer looks very ugly. Describe the emotions, of course you can, but they are accompanied by specific actions. Here 's the main catch. It's easier to show than to describe in words. Words that describe love relationships, vulgarized bigots. The word sex is equated to the word pornography feminists and members of religious groups. Although no pornography, no erotica or sex did not have a negative impact on a mature person, that is, the identity of.
No need to describe the most beautiful, down to the coarse vulgarity, and to resort to medical terminology is also not necessary, and certainly not to seek euphemisms. Regarding the latter anecdote comes to mind. Late in the evening in the bar comes a tired man, accompanied by a heron and a wet cat, who, by his expression, you know, everything is Sick of it. Going to the bar, he orders a beer, pays fifty-seven rubles, a sum called a bartender, taking it fifty-seven rubles from his pocket. After ordering vodka stoparik. The bartender calls the price of forty- two rubles, and a man, without looking, that is how much gets out of his pocket and is calculated. The bartender at the dropping, looking at the strange company man and his ability to pay without looking.
- Hey, how do you get it?.
- Why, I met a genie, and he agreed to perform two of my desire.
- Yeah, I saw the first - not looking to pay. And the second? .
- And second, to me has always been a leggy chick with wet pussy.
How not to try, I can not remember having sex with you, my hero. Not in real life or in dreams. Even using your most vivid memory, of which you told me to remind (or maybe you invented it?). And as we would like to write a super scene that you want to repeat ( I 'll take revenge ), but the words you want it. But I can not. Fantasy? .
Friday. The end of the week. Owners of the apartment, which rents a room Musya, went on vacation. Although summer has just begun, the June heat makes all the windows open to the breeze brought the draft at least some desire to act, not to doze off on the ticket examination. At about six in the evening tired of learning. At about six in the evening he was returning from work. By coincidence, the apartment where she lived Musya was in front of his house, and, again by coincidence, the window of her room was opposite the window of his room, only to the floor below. She went to the balcony and saw that he was part of a staircase, perhaps sensing her gaze, he turned, waved her hand. Half an hour later the doorbell rings.
In the room through the open balcony door penetrates the evening. And he skillfully prepares it for further comprehension of fun. No matter how excited he was, apparently, out of habit, lying next to her, first betrayed petting, which is sure to end in the desired trachoma. And so it was not possible to wag, weasels start only when the body naked. And if every inch of her skin treated kindly, then it is all as an erogenous zone, and wants wants wants... Which is better? . In his capable hands, it was supple and sexy natural. When copulation occurred, it was the most desirable. Enjoy with a man who himself finds pleasure in coitus, and even in this case to know that all of man - did you chose, and he has satisfied your choice, it's great.
- Let's try a different way - he went on to introduce her into the world of real sex.
- I am so well.
- No, get up, will be even better.
He sat on a chair in the middle of the room, opposite the open door of the balcony, it drew to itself, forcing, legs spread down, no, not on their knees to him, but his trembling a little nervous on the willingness of Member. She slowly sank down, his fingers gently parted lips a little, he sent her an object of pride inside her body, but the pose is uncomfortable. Then, somehow smiling, he said that it should sit properly, deeply, relax, and embrace the best of his feet. She trusted him. She trusted and felt that his penis penetrated like never before, all discomfort disappeared. He slowly began to move it toward her nature and desire, growing inside, then back, and she wished he would not stop. She sat there, holding his hips to the waist. With one hand stroking his chest, the other holding his neck, and he drove his finger around her clitoris, his pinched, rubbed and fingered. He wanted her to cum, experiencing any kind of orgasm, so he taught her to know and feel the body. He penetrated and penetrated deep into its nature, and it happened so long and so well that all her feelings were concentrated in the vagina, which seemed out of the body absorbs all the nerve endings. Her lips wrapped around his penis is elastic, the vaginal wall so reduced that he could feel his cock gently and at the same time strongly compresses the best of all, there is a woman. It is with such gusto surrendered coitus with him (and Jewish men - the best lovers, they are circumcised, in contrast to the Slavs, and can bring a woman pleasure long ) that he felt it all. In his term, as in her vagina, concentrated all their substance. He felt how much she wants it, and when they reached orgasm at the same time, he felt it as any woman ever, and remember this feeling for many years.
It was her first teacher. He did not have time to teach her everything, and there was no such purpose. But with him she felt a wonderful feeling, which causes intercourse.
Myth drew to a close. The hero raped the creator, and should be the opposite.
Chapter 5. apparent reality.
The myth of the hero and the creator was in the stage to ... I had to live in the present. And for a woman now - it's family. Is it not for her sake, we live in? . To create a family life, he was not fit. And not because he was polygamy, the overwhelming majority of men are, and not because of morality in favor of the existing poherit not seek its own principles. Just do not come to his time. When it comes to him everything will fall into place and everything will be reckoned.
Musya continued successfully to study at the Institute. Myths are no longer composed and read other people to pass exams in ancient literature, and wade through pages of Joyce myth of Ulysses. In the Russian group was a little boy. But instinct is required to find someone who will be possible later in life companion. One of the classmates - a natural blonde ( said dyed, and he was just vacationing in Sochi and the blonde hair bleached more ) - it has attracted the attention of.
Since the first scholarship, she was on Monday, the entire group went to a restaurant. The day was a weekday, but the food was good, music was playing, so it was good. On the blonde Vadim, said he was also half Armenian, this was the fault of the big nose. After drinking, the girls Moussya dispatched to explore. As tactless inquire about the man himself unfamiliar, and decided that she must speak with one of the guys, and their group of four. The choice fell on the Bear, who Musya liked, and he was not slow to show it in the first lecture. And here in the restaurant is almost always danced with her, and then when they went out for some fresh air, smoke and fresh air, and proceeded to Musya inquiries. It turned out that both unpainted and Armenian descent, curiosity was satisfied. Over all the classmates, and her personally for three years, he drew his adulthood. At this time Musya not noticed the dark-haired, like myself, but in complete contrast. And this time it did not begin with the body and mind with. The man won her mind, not body. And when caught, and the body, then they became lovers. But again there was no true love. Where the attraction of the soul? .
- Who's next to you in the picture?.
- familiar.
- What kind of friend?.
- We attended the same school.
- Classmate?.
- No.
- What is your relationship?.
- No.
- A photo why?.
- It had long. Is this an interrogation?.
( In the photo she is sitting on the couch close to the ...
- Why are so many pictures, the whole film.
- Just a neighbor photographed, she liked it.
- What are your relationships?.
- Where do you see the relationship?.
- You are sitting very close.
- So what?.
While Musya put the kettle in the kitchen, he burned photos.
- Why did you do that?.
- If you do nothing, why do you keep them?.
- And you destroy all pictures of the house, when someone break a relationship?.
In retaliation Musya gave him tea with hot tap water. The new attack zealous idiocy occurred in six months.
- I will not kiss on the lips.
- Why?.
- You kissed him.
- So what? .
- I will not kiss her, I do not want, I can not. You betrayed me.
- You do that, man? . I'm with you, not with him.
- You met with me and with him.
- I went with thee, and his five years already know.
- But it does not give you the right to take me by the nose.
- I did not promise you anything, you're not my husband. And your curiosity has led to what has led.
- You no distortion.
- You might think you did not have two dates with different....
How Musya suffered and loved. His or her suffering. She tried to forget everything connected with the ... When they decided to live with one house, then both were transferred to the capital's universities. Legally, he would not bind the relationship, saying that the stamp in the passport has not kept anyone. And she agreed, and all the forces of his ideas was trying to live in reality and to build new relationships. She had forgotten all that was before. She hid it in the subconscious and unconscious on the scope. She vowed to forget about everything that is connected with the myths. She forgot how to met with a hero, in the ninth grade, he underwent appendectomy, and he went on a school night is very pale and had forgotten what drove him in Transcarpathia, forgot his body, hands, lips... I remember only that a relationship with him - it is . She was dreaming of another recurring dream: She is in her nightgown in the middle of a crowded area. This is a shame. Shame on that did not keep his body. Shame on that to know himself gave another. Shame that there should be no shame. Perhaps it was just a natural. It is inconceivable that a young healthy girl led Puritan life. She wanted to love and be loved, wanted a family, children....
Her future husband was not a virgin, and he wanted from her innocence throughout, and not only in the cases of pristine purity, but also in thought. In this case, when they have not had enough close relationships (but kissing ), he said he did not know whether they will do and how they will build some relationships in the future as in the present he has obligations to the other. In general, the nonsense and excuses. As it turned out, that other, in love with him, surrendered, invited to her, introduced with the parents. It's all a holiday romance that lasted a week. But his gratitude for the fact that the culprit was deprived of its innocence, not commensurate with what. And after a few tens of years, he kept her picture, as if its only deflowered. In general nonsense. But, nevertheless, in the life of Musi this story has brought a lot of unpleasant moments. Even when she had a daughter from Vadim, he has maintained relations with the resort phone girl, whose name was Natasha (and Musya knew well in Germany and Turkey, Russian prostitutes are called ).
The Union did not have sex, but like quality and bright, and not the missionary position. Everything grasped empirically, it seemed small, so decided to Vadim and Musya shoe theoretically. At that time there was a book of German sexologists, and a copy was in the student library. Perhaps it was from the funny to watch as the three of them, Musya, Vadim and Mishka (friend - classmate ) book in the reading room books on sex- lumen, while other students took notes when the articles of Lenin, the Party Congress, or materials prepared for the workshop on . The librarian gave out books, but wanted to know what purpose they are three of them to read. After the theoretical training of Bear waved a pen and making comparisons with the already acquired experience in life, everyone has decided to consolidate the practice. Better partner than they are to each other, no one has found, and was not going to look, savvy together theoretically, why someone else? . A good sex is good because it occurs in an unexpected place: the audience, landing in heavy rain, in a newly built house or even in an elevator. Good sex is good new postures (no Kama Sutra if not published ), all invented on their youthful years and irrepressible imagination. Good sex is good when you want again and again. And it's fifty percent. But fifty is not a hundred, but body was attracted to the logic of the male mind, drew his analytical. But something else was missing, although the fact that it was a lot of. When a daughter was born, they have lived together without pinning the legal relationship. Indeed, the stamp in the passport does not guarantee anything, and the daughter he has recorded over. What kept it, because this woman negarantiruyuschy stamp, oh as needed. Why she stayed with Vadim. This question was not answered. Mussina was just a hope that he will come to its senses, realize that it is well with her. Or ephemeral feeling called love. Rather, it was the desire to take revenge. First, convince that he would suffer without it, then when he is sure of this idea, to make him suffer by her side. But her love was not necessary. He was jealous and could not overcome a sense of. Although people say, jealous, love means. Yeah, but did not specify whom he loves, SELF. In the first year after the birth of a daughter she met the New Year, which is considered a family holiday, without. He chose seven ...
Almost three years they lived together and then parted. He returned to his hometown, Musya remained in the capital.
The head plug. Missed a novel.
As we age, beginning to appreciate the intelligence Musya men. If he's smart, it will be kind, generous, honest. The mind gives charm and looks, and with it the man's age would not be so critical appreciated.
In his fourth year at the institute, where she studied Musya, a new teacher who was lecturing on one of the periods of literature. It was assumed that the first installation lectures will be read for the whole stream, so they had set aside an assembly hall, where, as in any auditorium, was a piano. Girls who know how and not knowing how to play, were by turns torment tool, not hearing the bell, notifying the beginning of the lecture. It was then up to the chair and stout elegantly dressed man of about forty. Even closer to the pulpit, he threw a crowded instrument of Mayakovsky's words: ...
That was enough to attract the attention of. That was enough, so that she peered and listened to Benjamin Kondratyevich. He was at sixteen years of age or older. Long ago, divorced.
How can you attract intelligent man, she thought, too, the intellect. But teachers can not be annoying in an argument with them (many do not like ), while still answering his questions and ask him such that he is waiting to show themselves. But he had ... Anyone, and especially the men, it is important to focus on his person.
In the winter session ended in late afternoon, when it was getting dark. And in January at Musi 's birthday. Since many in the group were people with a family and children, in the cafes decided not to go and mention the event directly to the audience. Musya baked a cake, bought the traditional champagne, snacks. For the last couple Musya sat in the ... The girls, in spite of the January price, each brought a bouquet. A common gift from the band was solid, but the original silver bracelet - Stella's husband, girlfriend tried to.
Benjamin Kondratievich, of course, drew attention to the flowers, the recovery in the group and was invited to the gatherings after the lectures. An hour later they were in the audience were three of us: Musya, Stella, and Benjamin Kondratievich.
- Girls, and let me - he suggested.
- Yeah, - handed Stella 's Birthday - Musi, and you go to.
- No, Benjamin Kondratievich, you are our teacher - refused Musya.
- Girls, we're human adults. Yes, and only what you drank at the same table with your teacher. So, come on, not far from here.
It was about seven in the evening. The road to the house of Benjamin Kondratyevich took about ten minutes. He lived in a dormitory apartment type for faculty and graduate students ( the apartment had not yet obtained, since half a year came from Germany, having worked there for five years at the invitation of a university ). Going up the elevator to the eighth floor, he warned that the house he is perhaps one that often comes without warning. The girls looked at each other.
But the evening was a success. The other was a young person, coming - how that is relative longitudinal Benjamin Kondratyevich through his ex-wife. He played the guitar, but his repertoire was a bit priblatnennym, now for some reason this is called chansons. But under the stringy Armenian cognac has gone well and ... Benjamin was a wonderful storyteller Kondratievich, with great erudition, for his shoulders Philological State University and graduate school, teaching at the best universities of Europe, meeting with the Anna Akhmatova... drank brandy, he shook the little girls reading poems a little-known at the time of Maya Rumiantseva. Unusually in the mouths of men to hear women's lines:.
I have to toe is not an evil,.
Very good I'm with you.
I am painfully, until flour do not know -.
Do you have a - or invented by me.
And the dawn comes to town.
It is sober, with the third extra.
And when he faltered, Musya continued:.
And proud lost something.
Every morning, under these roofs.
Benjamin Kondratievich surprised.
- You know, little- known these lines, and indeed the poetry of love a few, and read from memory, and even less.
- I know these lines for ten years or more, I do love poetry, and she wrote.
- Read something.
- Let us not now, not the mood.
- Something you were attracted by the conversation - interrupted to Stella - and forget that you are not alone.
- Let's drink to Moussya - supported by Stas - because for her sake we are here together.
- Well, let's really for the ...
Set up session at the time students until the end of January and February from the beginning of the examination. And often after the lectures the girls visited Benjamin. Flirting, talking about poetry and modern literature, and everyone talked about his unsettled life. Surprisingly, they were all alone in his personal life, alone in many ways. Stas to thirty years had divorced, leaving his wife and child. He lived somehow vaguely engaged fartsoy, sometimes drunk, was an inveterate gambler, and often hit the jackpot. Stella seemed to successfully married to a jeweler, but it was a fourteen-year- daughter from his first marriage, could not have children with a despot, a jeweler, and filed a lover of hope - an Afghan boy who came to study. But as the husband was jealous, the Afghan boy gave no hope, then Stella has eyes for Benjamin. She said that the difference in ten years - it's a bit that she was an excellent cook, and so on and so forth. And he kissed Moussya in the evenings, when they in turn went to the kitchen to wash dishes in pairs or set the table, and suddenly it turned out that it is necessary to shop for bread. The joint dinner after the lecture became a habit. A week later, Benjamin Moussya invited to the restaurant ... she agreed to. But Stella and Stas felt that solitude is not good, and then decided that the four of us will. And the Eighth of March, he came to Moses with a bouquet of colorful fragrant freesia (which for the elegant perfection of the flower buds are called aristocrats ). I became acquainted with her parents, her daughter Musi.
Then after two weeks was his birthday. By the end of a party to mark the event, they were left alone with Moussya, and he began to complain of his life that, well, no luck with women. With his wife lived for a year, the German mistress Helga two....
In April, she met him in a department store, he came to pick up a suit, went together to the menswear department. Then back to the Muse. Parents liked the intelligent Benjamin.
Before the exam, which he had taken at the end of the course, she was very nervous. She appeared confused relationship with a teacher. And how to answer questions on his ticket if last night the four of them had dinner with him, and then wash the dishes, playing solitaire. Stella said:.
- Go to the end, the most recent, a deal... But who knows, maybe ...
- What to expect, it is better to.
- And if he does not intend us to ask, but just put the assessment?.
- Yeah, and if he is still on the exam, our teacher, not our friend?.
- Okay, let's repeat it follows tickets, you never know....
Musya agreed and they went into the audience of the latest. A ticket is not got a bad or good. Musya knew everything, but I and the ... She went to answer to Stella. Benjamin sat down in front, prepared to respond, and he intimidated:.
- Do you think I 'm going to listen to your answer?.
- Yes.
- And for whom do you take me for?.
-....
- Come on student's record-book.
He ... Went for a walk before going home each. Benjamin went back to the exam. He wondered why Musya and Stella both have experienced. Moses offered to write him a diploma, but it did not involve the Soviet period, when he helped her to find a supervisor for its subject and the opponent. The theme was unwinning while. Dostoevsky. (Neither Lenin nor Brezhnev have left positive feedback about it. ) Symbolism. ( What is the symbolism, I'm sorry, but repeated images, like this. ).
When the Musina daughter was sixteen, and she graduated from the English special school, it was Benjamin suggested a promising new department to study. When received Musya category for work, he being for many years chairman of the permanent certification committee, again gave good advice. The last time they met when he was sixty-three. At the time he headed the department in a prestigious university. He lived in a still, but not in a hostel, and three-room apartment, where he was an ideal order. She even thought that he had a maid or a concubine.
- No, Musenka, all by yourself.
- By the way, but the Stella you know something? .
- Stella... You know, she was after graduation, came to me, you've married her Vadim.
- What would come, then?.
- to propose.
-...?.
- Do not be surprised. Have not you noticed? . So, convinced that I will be fine with it, and the difference in our marriage, they say, only twelve years old will not fatally. She was already divorced her husband despot -. Going with me to go on vacation twice a year, the winter ski resort and summer at the Marine. But it's not my... What about you? .
- So far so.
They sat up late in the evening, remembering the past, then a young man came to him, he presented it to a friend. When Musya went home by taxi, her sudden thought came to mind. Benjamin, or homo-or bi- seksual. Twenty years ago, Stas, weeping and complaints are not his wife and mistress, courting, which Musya rejected, and Stella has rejected it, and now in the seventh decade boy -neighbor- friend....
Continuation of the fifth chapter.
Vadim came occasionally to his daughter, the habit of doing Moussya sex and then left. And then they wrote each other letters, which spoke of their feelings, where it is justified is not clear why, but he put ridiculous conditions to ensure that their relationship lasted. Here is a spiritual masochism. What happened to Moussya, abandoned and betrayed? . She lived in a seeming reality. On the one hand, work, study and raise her daughter on the other - an absorbing passion for crazy people, from whom she gave birth to daughter. But such a life she chose a very. Was it immoral? . With him she had sex in such places as this clearly was not suitable. And now for some reason, many say that the USSR did not have sex. We see most of the population are bigots. When he asked her to surrender, she always started with the excuses, over time, it even has some ritual. But in the solitude of the countryside and in the dark night in a secluded place ( porch, basement, garden), he slips his hand between her legs and began to touch her in the place of longing. And she stopped to think about abstinence. His favorite method of bringing it ( or rather her favorite and the most sensual and always desirable ) was a. First, his fingers touched only to okoloklitornoy zone. He seemed to be feeling the tips of his fingers around, gradually approaching the most sensitive place. Then he went on to drop down swollen labia, moved apart, and they tugged at the inside of the small. His finger moved to the vaginal opening, but does not penetrate more than polnogtya, and then returned to the clitoris. And it did not stop stroking, toying, rub, press down to. At one point he stopped actively touching the clitoris excited, a little pinched it between two fingers and stop the movement, with the middle finger could almost touch the vagina. Or top with one finger pressed down so that its tip rested again in the opening of the vagina. She, driven almost to orgasm, began to rub her clit on his finger so that he got inside her vagina. But the finger was little, I wanted a different size. Then he acted in the circumstances. If you had the opportunity and let the surroundings, then, of course, did not restrain his desire to. Or, if circumstances permit, went to meet her hand, although it came with both hands, he continued to encourage a swollen clitoris, while the fingers of the other, usually three fingers into her vagina penetrated. She took this position so that he could penetrate her as deeply as possible and touch the cervix. Concluding, she stiffened, shifts his feet and did not want it moved. If it was not possible to finish and he is not fit the situation, the best way - Blowjob. He liked it all, so the relationship is not interrupted.
So it took almost two years. In one of his visits, he appointed her to a meeting in a small park. They sat on the bench, began to talk about something and he said: ... I can not live without you ... Musya was happy, she felt it was a condition which is felt is called happiness. Finally, she would marry the father of her daughter. It will be a family, like all. Because before, without a man, the family was incomplete, and now he, body and mind which are attractive to her, be there. And the soul, he wants to be with her, he finally realized that she was the one who should be loved just like that, but not for something, and because. Registration was scheduled for August, but in August she went to hospital. And it was a sign, which she did not believe. There would have to think, why in good health should ring out to the hospital before the wedding. The diagnosis of the doctors did not put. Lay day in surgery, gynecology day, then again in surgery. The doctors nodded at each other. Two years later she again gets to the hospital and miraculously remain alive, although the doctors put the correct diagnosis. Fiddling appendicitis, but three days will be suffering the pain, go to the clinic from the surgeon to the gynecologist until the night will not have to call an ambulance because of severe pain she could not walk. Anesthesia did not, she was breastfeeding mom, the youngest daughter was only four months, and local anesthetic novocaine was useless, intolerance. Cut down on the living. One nurse his chest to his feet, holding the other hand, from the intensive care nurse in the wings, we had to split heart, because there was no fear of veins, made in the wrist. Then, peritonitis, tube....
Family life, to which she aspired, not obtained. There was no trust. It turned out that few other than sex, there is little inclination of the mind, and soul need to drive. But if you're surrounded by lies, if you can not be yourself, and play a role. She clearly remembered two grievances. He went to sea with his daughter and took with him two nephews. Musya went to see them off to the station, traveled to Odessa Diesel. He then smoked ( left after the birth of her second daughter ) and slacking with a cigarette until the last moment. There were many people. Older nephews have gone into the car, and she went to see six-year old daughter, but could not get into the car through a crowd of people, she was the eighth month. And Vadim stood on the platform and calmly smoked his children did not seem worried about. The second case is when six months later she was operated on. When he was the morning after surgery, her parents called him to come to the hospital, he also pulled to the visit, and the youngest daughter was four months old, I had to think what and how to feed, and the hospital to be Moses, because the forecast was maloblagopriyatny . Each time Moses helped the parents, of course, it should be, these people come to your aid when needed. But you give them the debt through their children, caring for them as they are about you. But the husband from his men... are you waiting for support in the most difficult moments, and he leaves you alone with problems, and just absorbed him. Real life was so different from the myth that no longer meet its. We had to go back to the myth, where she lived. If it turned out bad, not because it wanted to blame had to be just myself, the creator. But in real life, you have two. And when one loves and the other all the time allows and emphasizes it becomes unbearably. Musya probably accustomed to suffer after suffering advancing catharsis, it seemed that you can start all over again, and reality is not so bad. But habit is a behavior of character and change someone thankless task: and will not change if he does not want, and embitter.
He still did not trust her, even though there was no reason, just something seemed. And she took revenge on him. But his revenge, not giving a report. She chastised myself for not restrained, there was not a virgin for a future spouse that chose to pre-marital relationship to popular registry office. He lifted her hand, and then hit more than once. It seemed to him that she was behaving provocatively with him, she accused him. And he beat for his cowardice, his betrayal of beat, beat of his inability to trust. Musya not go away and threw him out. she was suffering. He went to his parents, then came back, but never asked for forgiveness and admitted his guilt. Guilt at least in the fact that he, the man raised his hand at her, a woman, the mother of his daughters. It is fixed in it an inferiority complex. And she, knowing that it is wrong, yet resigned. And once she realized that he was no better than a real hero invented. Hero, who also betrayed her and appreciated, and that not very much, just her body, but rather their feelings in it. But just then she remembered about him, his stepmother, who left home for the first time she called, mental. After hundreds of miles she spoke to him, repeating his name. The name, meaning the force. So cry out to God believing that he gave them power. This is not blasphemy, because he was a hero, which she created. But it turned out that everything in the world vzaimovliyaemo. She turned to his creation, to find the strength to continue to live on. For the sake of children. A more banal truth, growing up, children judged parents do not like that they taught their. And they in turn consider the property of children and do not want to see their personality (although some kids like it - to live off their parents). And then ...
The question of a career in the lives of women in general is inappropriate. The world wants it to be on a par with men. Well, I do not cringe, not physically, but in the rights. And now the woman has a right to be a tractor driver, engineer, teacher... But no one deprived of her right to be a mother to stay home and delight the spouse. The worst thing in choosing a profession that many women and not men are becoming caregivers, teachers, young people. And this profession generates authoritarianism and despotism, coarsens woman. Look at how many single teachers....
Today, summarizing thirty years of reality that is not a myth, as was the life of an ordinary woman who genuinely perplexed Musya. How could she ignore him so much? .
Vadim felt the mood of Musi. For thirty years, well know the person with whom you live. He understood that time is not stopped, it's time to sum up the preliminary results, and his wife is behaving strangely. The fact that they are separated and the marriage of their guest, on the one hand is better, at least find out the relationship. Occur after the separation and the joy of sex in all good. Only occasionally Musya sterveneet. Wraith. And when she gets angry, it will not be no sex, but if you have patience, then after she pronounce all sore, it 's great.
- Musya that you 're going to eat?.
- He ruined my life.
- You own fault. You were a. If two people in a relationship, the two fault.
- It is more.
- You are wrong again. No more or less. More so, it is still so.
- What do you want from me? .
- You continue to live as you think?.
- Are you sang? .
- properly. He wants to be with you, but seeing your mood. You are aggressive.
- No, I have to forget everything, forgive everything, right?.
- And you are always infallible?.
Jealousy 's wife to the hero from the distant past was trudnoupravlyaema. No arguments and sensible words he did not want to hear. ... You take it to the house, and she still runs back ... ( Let me explain: dump - this past Musi, which is haunted by her husband ). Of course, jealousy is not pretty, but you can try to understand the jealous, he is unsure of himself. Such a person should only regret. And what a pity? . The one who is sorry he loves, and he who pities, pity humiliates her. And they say that if you do not like the situation in which you can not change anything, you have to change their attitude to what is happening. No need to suppress the woman he loves. (A favorite right?).
Or maybe the truth Musi is that it runs from the lack of freedom at home? . But there she is free to do what he wants.
And why again looms so-called ... ( And if he was German, half- sister, half- Vadim German or Greek or Romanian? Acceptable?) And recalls the words of the secretary Musya Yefimovna Sophia, with her work: ... And what if there is a three hundred milliliters of blood Musi Jewish, can she blame all the troubles. A husband says it's because he, like most Russians, Europeans, Americans, says it is the descendants of Abraham, guilty of all the real and imaginary misfortunes. What is so irritating to those whose history is more ancient, whose religion took as a basis for both Christians and Muslims living in Russia, Europe and America. Why do the majority blames the minority? . What's good in those who have forgotten their history, their gods, and worships a stranger? . And culture, and science are relegated by him, and themselves degradiruete. Musya all this was going to make a loud, because she was very bad from happening, it was unpleasant, because it was brought up in the Russian Soviet family.
Thirty years spent with Vadim, long. Indeed, not all the time to live in a fantasy world. But the reality that surrounded, Moussya was not present, and the apparent. Because it was Musya unreal. Those who knew her, thought she was a strong personality, always ready to stand up for themselves, and for other. A husband did not respect her personal qualities. No, the words he spoke that it was a good, kind, intelligent, responsible, and in general, well done. But when she talked about work, because of a family waiting for support, he said: ... Anyway, the last thirteen years, they lived separately from each other for one hundred and fifty miles, vidyas a couple of times a month. How is it that went away? .
- Vadim, give something to decide how much you can live like this?.
- There is no work for me.
- I found. Do you have an office in central rates. In the end, it is possible to change jobs.
- No, you must return.
- But the children are already studying, and not leave them alone, I.
- The older an adult, and your parents will look.
- My parents are not my family, this is my ex 's family. You are my husband, why do you shift your worries on their shoulders?.
- I'm not blaming. You just do not want to, you have everything their own way.
So to sort things out without making concessions to. He used to live as he lived all the time, based on their needs, not going to change anything. Musya be with him, will not go away, and put up poartachitsya. After all, it was always. A Musya already tired of depending on. Increasingly, she blamed herself for the weakness of character, and increasingly began to recall the name of a hero. But could not imagine how he lives, what, what his family is happy. just remembered.
No, I did not Musya Vadim life unbearable. After all, he arranged such a relationship and separation. He was also a man of the same, as all. He considered himself, as we all do right. After all, his actions, whatever they are, we can always explain yourself, and forgive ourselves.
- What are you going to do next? .
- What do you mean? .
- Are you going to live with me?.
- And you are suddenly necessary?.
- It is always needed, is that you did not want to.
Yeah, we're once again derision, we will take revenge, who, whom, as. While we will be, will not work.
- You are again doing verbiage, I asked you a specific question.
- Are you currently own answer to your question.
- Again, you tell me hamish and do not want to talk seriously.
- And you think, why. You know, so many years you can not decide, I need you or not. It can be seen only fifty percent of sex, although the quality equal to fifty percent of the lack of trust and respect. Therefore, we have not published anything.
- Listen, do you always take away from the topic. Why do not specifically say how we will continue to live?.
- And you yourself can not resolve? .
So what and why people live? . Man lives for the sake of life itself. To get up in the morning and enjoy a new day, it is possible to live. To love the rain. For, sitting under a tree, to see his dusty pieces of paper each veinlet. To feel the fragrance of roses, not only, but also snowdrop. To admire the elegance of a sticky web of. To go against the wind. To drink rough wine. To just live for life. Does it make sense to give up something if they give you? .
Chapter Six. My friend from the ...
When you reach a certain age, there comes a time the preliminary results. In this particular age you are more intelligent, passed through many temptations, has acquired experience. But how do you want to go back in time when there was nothing of this and repeat again. Or, not all but some. Or do not repeat, but to do otherwise. Life is marked by many significant milestones, which really shows the distance traveled and do not give to get lost when you make excursions into the past. What's important in your life? .
24. 04. 2010 HE. Hello! . It is easy to learn, even after 30.
years! .
SHE. Stunned! .
OH. From what? .
SHE. Do not expect to see. and you've changed. Can not live and learn. 20:56.
OH. As they say - God works in mysterious ways. Age, changing from the outside - inside is the same 21:05.
SHE. How are you? .
OH. I serve in the police department similar to your Y. B. About. P. Four children - two adults from the first.
his wife and two young from the second. What do you have? .
SHE. While talking on Skype, I'm sorry. And what we communicate? . 21:53.
OH. Write. Skype I also have. 22:08.
She's honest, I'm at a loss. I wanted to know what you are and where. though why? . The page you were me, there's more - less.
everything, that is intended for guests. Why is divorce? .
25. 04. 2010 HE. Understand that different people, although it's too late. As you said - what is being done... And about the river - is Latoritsa? .
SHE. No, it's summer - the river of forgetfulness in Greek Latoritsa 22:07 I'm talking about and not remembered for a long time it was even looked in Yandex, which is. 22:10.
26. 04. He flew in 2010 - only happens in fairy tales, poems and Odyssey. But in real life, as you write -.
No one is forgotten and nothing is forgotten. And sitting around in memory, as in the closet. I want - I take, I do not want. naphthalene rolling in. 11:40.
SHE. Count to ten, calm down, not to swear. Why this aggression? . We do not understand each other.
Well, that double not enter into the river, it's just idiom, a proverb, and you can consider as a children's riddle, since water has such a property, as the turnover. Just for a conclusion was made, and then for some reason you wrote. And your words to understand about naphthalene? .
And about the expression ' Nobody is forgotten and nothing is forgotten ', it said about fascism in besieged Leningrad, Olga Bergholz, and what are you? .
Surprisingly, you and I are working on the system, and the school and the police - a system that is your choice surprised me, though. and in which rank? . 17:17.
27. 04. 2010 OH Good kid, do not be nervous, we understand each other. And both, as I understand it,.
picks in the souls of others. Only we have different goals. You're trying to educate, but I get your flaws. Would you like to talk live. I have about you only pleasant memories. This is no joke 2:21.
SHE Unfortunately, the nervous, because many shared in the past and now, I have the mentality of.
I live is not ready mentally. Plus family and personal relationships that were not yet entirely compatible. If you can, get started until the absentee. But I want to listen to you. about your.
life, about your views. And the name you are now more beautiful, but unusual. 16:38.
HE name is read Iga'l. This is the word Geula - in Hebrew - redemption, salvation liberation, despite the context in which to write. At the expense of the rest. At your discretion. 20:46.
28. 04. 2010 SHE Hello . How did you come to a choice of duty station? . Write about yourself. I am interested, not interesting. 7:38.
OH. Upon arrival, he worked in one firm. Was it the director's secretary in the form of a.
respectable. Signed me and a few others as guarantors of a large amount of dumped and. Looking for is not found, and I found. Realized that my. 10:26.
SHE You know, you're a hunter, and they ' fox ' look. Otherwise you will not catch them. So in you have something from them? .
How many younger girls? .
The working day you are not normalized? . Good luck! .
Looked at your family album. Children of all charm. And what did you find me and wrote? . Maybe all that was, everyone remembers and understands its. And do you communicate with on an Internet work? . 23:32.
30. 04. 2010 he graduated son, his first degree Finance and Accounting. The eldest daughter,.
completes the service. The second wife of 39 3 and a baby. 5 years. As for the working day - that morning sometimes gently sometimes sharply turns to night and vice versa sometimes lasts for days 19:52.
In addition to last year, called up the army and the reserve each year. When I have time for their food, they live by the sea. Sometimes we go fishing. What about the past - Pleasant memories. And remember, pleasant - always a pleasure. By the way, so what prompted you to get acquainted?! .
SHE Good evening. You have learned in the classroom glory, this boy I liked 20:19.
And you liked a girl in our class we have argued. I met you, but it is not 20:20 but when a man falls, he deceives himself, and then, in whom the love 20:23.
But why did you find me now? . What in your life? . And while I do not know. Do you have an hour with us the difference? .
OH What a girl? . He is no longer, unfortunately.
Deceiving - it is not nice and is always difficult. It is better to speak the truth, especially if it is between friends. In addition there is nothing better open relationship, everything is fair, and no problems. My little town, it is well less noise. Why are found, do not know. There are things whose origin can not be explained. The main thing is how it is perceived: a positive or negative. 20:45.
SHE Well, I remember, but one that is enjoyed, no? . and she came up with? . About love and deception is not, I said, as Oscar Wilde in ' The Portrait.
Dorian Gray ' And now you, too, except the obligations have an open relationship? .
He does not remember who this Tania A, you have her photo? . I have an excellent memory. What is it lost? .
accept the above as their own, and it begins to lead us. You are another matter! . When I remember how I went to see you on crutches, his leg in a cast, snow and 4th floor, where you lived, and my 3, it becomes fun. There is something to remember )! .
SHE I'm Tanya and I just lived in one house, there are only a photo of somewhere in the exhaust. that.
lose a bet no matter it is not on the site. Why can not answer all the questions, but only on easy? . I became angry and bitchy 21:33.
OH. It seems to answer, and that it was missed? . Illusions I had lost somewhere in February 1981, when he was on a kibbutz on the Lebanese border, when he saw the head falling Katyushas and missiles. But the reality has come a bit later in Lebanon and in other places a little cute. 21:57.
SHE. When you come to me in the rain, said that no sugar has melted. You see, I also remember something. I am angry and bitchy, because life is so, it is my former classmate said,.
When we shared the view today of those who knew and who has changed. I just do not always know how to forgive. To be honest, I thought of you these years. What is war, I do not know. But many of my students were killed and they were in 18-20 years. I was terrified that they are not. And you were born, to know under a lucky star, I did not expect that you fall out such tests. I never thought, and could not even imagine it, where are you working. You are not what they used to be, although I know you from one side and a single role. Write to me if you wish. 23:06.
Assume you will have everything the way you desire a. Good luck to 23:08.
01. 05. Fortune 2010 IT does not prevent. Thank you! .
happiness. Interestingly, the bad in your life? . My joy - this is a transitional age. And to paraphrase Lenin, that we are inside the former, but can not affect the appearance. A takes the form of appearance, which does not want and can not be changed. In short - a revolution, and hence the result - a reaction to the surrounding. Hold the tail of a gun, it is too early to give up. And often think of a pleasant, very helpful. This is from my own experience. How and what do you think, and will feel. So love and cherish a favorite! .
She's in my life, all is well, it seems some other. And I think about money, and provide additional income. I think about love, and the husband decides that he loves me. A moral.
satisfaction in this country can not be 16:22.
And before puberty to me far, I'm 28, I feel myself. I still do on the outside and inside. 16:23.
OH. Yes, I see you are almost Kashpirovsky. Well, the money, I understand. And in love. If you do not think not.
remember. , Especially if you decide to, not in a state. What you 28 excellent! . I do not mind, but rather easier to understand. With my job and need to be a chess player and a psychologist and be able to solve crossword puzzles. By the way, how are your parents? .
Your younger daughter is very similar to you. Tell us about your children and vnucheh. Hard to imagine your grandmother in my mind you're different. 20:59.
02. 05. 2010 she know, or may not Kashpirovsky, but decided last night to see if there was a MySpace, and that soon we session, children are consulted and weekends, and even decided to write to you that, yes, let's get started on Skype. and this complex flew, calling the younger daughter, saying that to do, the eldest, as I have, they do not know the distance does not advise. One says that he can send me our old computer, and who meet the train will be, you say, at work. shorter than half a day she thought, screws unscrewed - runs. What's this? . 16:04.
And I am sure my grandmother and the family experience is also older than you, I have the highest this year in November 30 will be. Although the man because so much on how he feels, I'm 28 physically, but in understanding such a mess in my head as a teenager;)) ) What about the fact that the husband decides that he loves me, he loves in his own way always, but a jealous. And my marriage for 13 years, the guest, he has his own business, and see each other during the holidays, and twice a month as a scout. 16:10.
My parents are still alive, is a retired brother in Vladivostok, was married twice, but apparently not all wives endure this kind of work her husband, He is a former military man, then the police. My eldest daughter of an engineer in information technology and education in the second translator. There are also third in the Jewish community has been in absentia in Tel Aviv, ... While the decree, recently gave birth to my youngest granddaughter. The youngest daughter graduated from art college, she was an artist for the soul, now for the money ends up in the designer's Academy of Arts. I work for the last month, and then going on maternity leave, but she did not with her granddaughter. Something a lot of writing. Do you write about yourself, too. And meet in skype? . Schastlivo16: 20.
03. 05. 2010 OH Write a look for you on Skype, I have ns time difference. Now we have 18-00. When you have to be at home? . Today I 'm going to Eilat on the Red Sea is a couple of days on a business trip. In any case, try to get in touch. 18:16.
IT is ironic, but communication with you as a drug. Ask myself, why?.
What's the point? . And with that, in essence, we are the same as before, but do we know that the essence of. My feelings for you does not depend on your appearance, I have not seen you for a long time, I got used, that is you, the one I chose at that stage. So it was in the Carpathians, as it was when I began to study at the institute, it was. But I want to continue the relationship, especially as the initiator of this time you. 22:49.
Differences in time we do not. My email address you would not find. Nickname in Skype.... avatar name... if not confusing, it is in memory of our rats. At home, I at night, but it's better in 23 hours or Saturday - Sunday 11. 30 is to 13 May, after my daughter will come and time will change. And yet, I see you? . 23:01.
04. 05. 2010 OH Who Resort to whom the work. There is a camera that you see and hear. 7:42.
SHE. I look forward to meeting after 30 years. 17:00.
07. 05. 2010 HE. When you are at home this Sunday. I have a free morning. 9:37.
SHE. So you came. In fact, on Sunday May 9 holiday. I am with the memorial.
come at the beginning of the twelfth, in our country, those who celebrate Victory Day - Russian nationalists reason, although there are Ukrainians, Bulgarians, etc. And the poor Romanians do not celebrate the defeat, that such a confrontation. In general, 11. 30, but you can at 6 am, but your morning is probably over, then I do not know 12:40.
OH by the way, I and my parents and many others celebrate the holiday. it.
the only day of the holidays that I'm home. At work, know the only thing that can prevent - this is war 15:09.
Get back to you after 12. 00 15:12.
IT is clear, you 've already found on Skype. I'm sitting, I work 16:35.
08. 05. 2010 HE. It is not difficult once said password. Do not recycle, it is harmful.
It is better to rest. 11:18.
SHE Thanks for comments to the photo, but it's flattery. Something I do not understand you, it's about the smiles.
Flirt? .
Skype [09. 05. 12:33:00 2010 ] HIS call, duration 2:01:52.
[09. 05. 2010 14:34:52 ] Calling completed.
- Hi, I'm glad to see you, you look good.
- Hello.
- Happy Holidays. As you went to the memorial?.
- All is well.
- Tell us about yourself. More. How are you?.
- But you already know it all.
- I see that you have not changed and I like. Smile.
- All change. Why did you find me?.
- Well, it was not necessary? .
When talking on Skype, for some reason reminded of the Song of Songs: ... Your name as a pleasant world, as ointment poured forth. Therefore the virgins love thee ... No, he never said anything like that. But he was sincere? . Intellectually she knew that sitting in front of her and said to her the same Igor. The human eye does not change, and his eyes are still when he looked at her and did not take his eyes, drew.
And what about ... For some reason he sometimes looked to the right, though perhaps there was something that attracted the attention or he was embarrassed of something.
09. 05. In 2010 it had shot down with a normal rhythm. Such as it is even more interesting, perhaps. It is not too late to see you in Italy? .
Seriously, though. 15:49.
OH. Yes, even on the moon, only to be released! .
SHE. Not disappointed at the meeting on the air? . What kind of.
our ' friends '? . there are other relationships. 18:26 nice.
OH and I am glad that you saw and heard. At the heart has become easier. 18:28.
She was and what he saw in the new account? .
OH. Together, 18:29.
SHE What about the soul? . For me, it is.
odnogorodtsy, past and present, the groups do not like, I do not admire their city, where he spent their childhood and adolescence. Relationship to you I review 18:34.
OH I am of you, not the city 18:38.
SHE. Hey, something I do not understand you again, well, funny to remember something, but do.
There were little? . Do not confuse, there is another pleasant. or.
nice, I remember you? 18:42.
OH. It was there and I think it will still not enough. As my dad says: Hunchback Tomb.
correct. But all this was very rare moments that that do not go out of my head. You can be proud! .
SHE. Oh, a compliment! . It is proud of you, that when all that was.
different in our relationship, I remember you. When shall we meet? . 18:59.
OH. If it were possible now, but now. In general, any non-reality is.
Reality, if you really want! . 21:10.
IT IS a. Who should want? . And on Wednesday and Thursday morning, I work with 8, 6 or what? . In the morning it is only during the holidays, and this summer, and for a long time. You want and find a different time 23:33.
11. 05. OH May 2010 and in the evening to talk to, does not bother me if I sooner. Tell me when you can 6:25.
SHE circumstances are such that I can do to plan ahead.
to Friday 's for sure not. In general, women are a reflection characteristic of higher start.
analyze and look for more than say, so need a break. But you write, if not.
hard to tell something, and then 30 years old and have nothing to say? . I chatter, and so more to seize the initiative, even if everything is on you. I wish you all: 15:32.
12. 05. 2010 she. I have a free evening, you want - come in 20:40.
14. 05. 2010 HE. If today, quite possibly, I'm after 8 pm until tomorrow ONE!.
CALL AS get home. 13:52.
I liked it ONE! . 15:26.
OH Hi! . AND NOW RETURNED TO ONE Balda for tomorrow night! . 16:02.
SHE. Then call me, I have half an hour, if you want 16:06.
Skype. [14. 05. 16:17:23 2010 ] HIS call, duration 1:55:30.
- Hello. How are you?.
- Hello. all is well.
- You look great. I like.
- Thanks for the compliment.
- Something to ehidtsey. I'll honestly say this. I like you, give me a head start another thirty years....
- Okay, the flattery, I do not believe. Tell us about yourself. What is your family? .
....
- You are, however, serve in the police? .
- See ( uniform shirt and showed the sign)....
[14. 05. 2010 18:12:53 ] Calling completed.
Talking on Skype, he noticed that they do strange dialogue. It only asks questions, cast replicas, and he says, is responsible for its interest.
In fact, it is curious to know what happened to her over the years. The interest, which he says means nothing. Simply, why not?.
Skype [14. 05. 22:07:43 2010 ] HIS call, duration 2:37:09.
- Good evening. As the day passed?.
- Hello. I'm glad to see you again.
- Well, at last, senses. All I 'm telling you - it's true. Why lie to your friends?.
- Well, do not be angry.
- How did you live those years? .
- We have not talked lately, I'm not interested in it....
- But if the two of you, and she did so that you're not happy, maybe you're wrong?.
- I understand that and I. But we recently it does not talk, common phrases, worse than strangers.
- That you wanted to participate wife, and he was honest? .
- Have you been these years is true only to her husband?.
- Yes, all of thirty years, except kiss with one man, when my husband was not with me in a legal marriage, and lived in another city altogether. In general, it is not cheating.
- Is this true?.
- Well, unless your friends are lying?.
- Listen, you answer my question with a question.
- I studied in Odessa, you forgot?.
- No, I remember it well.
- What are you looking at me? .
- What are you agitated? .
- What are you driving at a repetition of what you talk nice to me? .
- I am honest with you....
[15. 05. 2010 00:44:52 ] Calling completed.
15. 05. 2010, he 'll call tomorrow afternoon at 11. 00:51.
IT is my pleasure to talk with you 00:54.
OH ME TOO. GOOD NIGHT. 00:56.
It could just as well that you found me, that is not done for the better. And it is wrong in some way offended me with you. Just because it was. What's interesting, I remembered that I knew, as you drove to Lvov and much of what you tell from the past, I know, just wanted to forget, perhaps. 15:24.
Skype [16. 05. 11:10:08 2010 ] HIS call, duration 2:04:44.
- Hello? .
- You have not seen in a dream.
- How are you? .
- Listen, do you like the first duty of all foreign phrases. I'm all right. I say to you.
- When we're talking, you become aggressive. All to think of something and did not listen to me. whether it is easier.
- Again, teach me.
- I want you all had a good. We have a fever of forty. I take off my shirt, do not confuse, Can I?.
- Yes, even in full, if you want to. I do not get confused, I even wonder.
- So what?.
- What?.
- Why are you disturbed within me? .
- No, I like to look at you.
- Why red? .
- Yeah, I'll get undressed and look. Absolutely crazy?.
- So what? .
[16. 05. 2010 13:14:52 ] Calling completed.
19. 05. 2010 OH Hi, how are the exams? .
Today it has been an appeal. But all passed, the next exam in June, final. How are you? .
It is normally only good tired. All week, hovering like whirligig, another mokruha.
Today we have a holiday. We left with the children and families in the country, on the coast of the Sea of Galilee. As usual a lot of meat and beer. Weather on the rarity of good, not too hot. By the way, last night I dreamed about you... 21:02.
SHE. Had a dream in a nightmare? .
It's small, but g. th. Then the village in 5000, and drench each month. The people of southern, warm blood. And the dream was nothing. 22:06.
20. 05. 2010 IT And then? .
21. 05. 2010 OH What's next? 16:49.
SHE. Well, this here is a game, and actually, I'm waiting for something entertaining and interesting to. For to what else to use the Internet? . 17:30.
led to a child? .
OH. This is a sheep farm and the barn, children need to teach love animals, they will be kinder. so.
to listen, to say, when you home tomorrow? .
It appoints the time, I like a woman tune my;))) My wife is not jealous? . 22:16.
OH. Tell me when you're comfortable. And my is not jealous, it was my first condition 23:29.
SHE at any time for you. 22:30.
He is well 22: ZZ.
It is well - is good, but not me to sit all day near the company. Up to 12, after 16 or at night? . 22:36.
22. 05. 2010 she. Where have you been? .
28. 05. 2010 HE Bad week, in a moment came over a lot of work. I hope that will sleep off. Tomorrow morning, if there is a puncture, be sure to call. Want to go? . 20:18.
01. 06. 2010 she. Everything is so intense, or. 21:02.
05. 06. 2010 it is clear, all-or-. Do not worry, do not suddenly come, I have other plans, 15:01.
OH. Again, actin 'kinda shady, you can not be left unattended, even for five minutes. I would call you.
today. I'll try again in the evening. Today I have a house, my left, gave a little sleep off. I have a lot of the last three weeks, was rarely at home. As for coming do not worry.
16:52.
SHE I'm free from 21. 30, wait, sorry, if something is not understood 20:31.
09. 06. 2010 OH Hi! .
10. 06. 2010 SHE Hello . At 9 am today, if you have time to see you, to connect. 8:21.
11. 06. 2010 she. hello Again. Positive effect - do not dream a dream of obsessive-compulsive. Negative, probably you will never dream of me. 20:13.
The past - it is the past, but today you're a different person. Discerned from the past a little bit cynical and ironic view. I want you to want me to become a more positive effect on communication, though, maybe I'm wrong. Sorry if that is not the writing, not anymore 20:17.
12. 06. 2010 HE. ! 10:59.
15. 06. SHE 2010 22:36.
19. 06. 2010 she Shalom, and I was so naive, thinking that you will find the opportunity to be on vacation. And I was so naive, count on revenge. And you will not find even a minute 15:19.
25. 06. 2010 OH I call home in the morning 19:51.
Skype [25. 06. 2010 19:34:15 ] HIM: HELLO DEAR THE MORNING CALL!.
26. 06. 2010 HE. Where have you gone? 12:31.
05. 07. 2010 IT Week... I connected the 'Net, here as in the village 12:19.
OH. How are you? .
IS and Skype and husband and have to think 21:20.
OH Tomorrow morning I'm at home until 10, you can, call 21:31.
SHE AGAIN I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE TIME WE HAVE NOW 21. 32 And YOU? .
MORNING for half an hour I wake 21:34.
OH I will wait 21-45 21:48.
Skype [06. 07. 2010 9:01:02 ] HIS call, duration 00:11.
[06. 07. 2010 9:34:13 ] HIS call, duration 41:38.
-... You always think of something and think through. You do not want to hear me and complicate.
- Just not telling you anything. I do not understand you. Why did you find me?.
- I do not know. Accidentally....
- Why do you keep the relationship with me? .
- I've already talked about this. You once again complicate. Would be uninteresting and indifferent, there would be nothing. Why are you silent?.
- I just look at you and do not understand why this is me.
- You are again all complicate. What hurts you? .
- Yeah, as a guinea pig.
- You do not want to listen to. What's the matter with you? .
- And you are talking about me as a patient clinics.
- You do not care about, I want you to have all been well.
- Thank you.
- What is ...
[06. 07. 2010 10:15:51 ] Calling completed.
06. 07. 2010 IT And why deleted photos from an album? . 17:24.
09. 07. 2010 HE. Want to see it, call in the afternoon, we are at home, at the same time chat 8:50.
SHE. She speaks in Russian? 11:06.
OH. There is no 14:20.
Skype [09. 07. 16:27:24 2010 ] HIS call, duration 1:05:11.
- Hey, what's new?.
- Hello. I see thy daughters and a wife?.
- In the kitchen.
- And teach daughters to speak in Russian?.
- From the youngest to speak two languages , and the elder knows ... Sing a song that you like.
- Something I do not quite understand what this song.
- Olesya, Olesya, Olesya, so the birds scream... ...
- As the wife refers to the fact that we speak?.
- Normally refers, we have an agreement. Tell us about yourself. What are you doing now, and then you remain silent... more.
[09. 07. 2010 17:32:35 ] Calling completed.
ITS Status: I can not be a second. And even the first. I can only be a single.
10. 07. 2010 HE. The first or last - it is not important. The main thing to be desired! .
Family needs it, but want someone else 16:36.
And in general, and need the toilet. And I want to be the only course I have this, but for whom? .
OH And you think 17:18.
Skype [10. 07. 2010 18:37:28 ] HIM: I'm home, you can, call.
[10. 07. 2010 18:38:04 ] SHE: 10 minutes.
[10. 07. 18:57:06 2010 ] e call, duration 14:02.
[10. 07. 19:12:19 2010 ] e call, the duration of PA: 06.
[10. 07. 19:19:55 2010 ] HIS call, duration 00:30.
[10. 07. 2010 19:20: ZZ ] HIS call, duration 2:03.
[10. 07. 19:22:51 2010 ] e call, duration 00:32.
[10. 07. 2010 19:24:01 ] The subscriber does not answer.
[10. 07. 19:24:29 2010 ] e call, duration 26:18.
- Communication is bad, maybe you are lucky now, or just do not talk destiny.
- This is a link, not the fate of. Are you pessimistic about the future again? .
- You just stirred up the soul.
- You do not like it? .
- Do you always say the same compliments.
- And is it bad? . Would you like to tell you, the mood could rise.
- Again, I 'll be in the drive the paint?.
- You become constrained, unnatural. Previously, you were freer.
- Do you want to say without complexes in relation to you? . Maybe you liked me then.
- Whether or...?.
- like.
- And what's wrong? .
- And now?.
- Who would have refused to repeat. I'm telling you, and you do not know what you think. Who do you think? .
- I do not know what to tell you.
- The truth....
[10. 07. 2010 19:50:47 ] Calling completed.
11. 07. 2010 It was nothing I invented, except only one - my mother, all the rest.
you want, more grandmothers, wife of one, but there may be others, too, daughters may be more. Well, as a person, but it is not, in general, I wrote a simple slogan of women, each of us wants to be unique, and you got me thinking, and reflect on forced. And why do I communicate with you, what do you think about this? .
OH you a classic example of Marxism, everything in it in a spiral, and you have a regular polvitka down.
to gain height, or as a Jewish anecdote - a step forward and two steps back. Hold the tail gun, back straight and. forward. 19:36.
SHE Thank you for criticism, rubbish and can not meet the 20:08.
He does not answer to those who by DRUMS 21:13.
It means, I will not care about that is what I want to hear. Please.
Tell me about this again. Do not be mad 21:17.
OH. Thank God, enlightenment, 21:19.
SHE And without irony? .
He is a real truth and not a drop of irony, 21:24.
Thanks to IT. Tomorrow 's talk? .
OH. Let's try to 21:25.
SHE We had a day a fisherman, I'm just tired, so this attitude. Good luck.
He caught a goldfish. ! .
12. 07. 2010 she goldfish for a woman - a man, you can catch it everywhere, not just on a fishing trip 10:52.
OH My joy, man a fish can not be. Sitting in an aquarium - it is quiet damp and dreary. so.
better in the hot tub and mermaids! .
13. 07. SHE 2010 a month I going to sea until mid-September. In the Caucasus, near Sochi. In the Indian summer. They catch the goldfish. 11:17.
OH I 'm going in September to the Dead Sea. There are no mermaids. Are you going alone? .
dreamed. Chair in the middle compartment. summer. Evening and all the windows open. The house is one. I'm sitting in a chair, and you in me. face to face, I'll feel more than ever. Go together? .
not bad. And again, too! . 02.
When can I talk to you? .
SHE I'm going with my girls, and you? .
With me if you want to be talking more in the morning. As to go with you, it's just kidding, it took many years. Why? . And I just started to think well. 22:46.
15. 07. OH THIS IS 2010, and still think ONLY GOOD. I CAN recall how I came to you in a cast and on crutches WINTER. ALSO vain kidding, you are.
CAN dement a normal guy, And me all the more. By force of habit - can be proud of yourself! .
SHE. I would like to be proud of habit. Today I met with a classmate 9:04.
Okay, I'll write a nice and you can, and I would like to repeat something to you. But I have you 30 years ago and today - it's different people. I am visual, and remember you ever, or what I want to be remembered. Just want you to get Egoistka begin to love yourself 11:15.
He correctly doing what you love yourself, then you know his worth. And about what you want and DO NOT ASK, ALL IS ITSELF ONLY KNOW ME and sorted, WHERE YOU LIKE MORE! .
16. 07. 2010 she is free to you today? .
OH I have a house you want to chat? .
SHE. Come on, wait a bit 13:35.
Skype [16. 07. 13:37:03 2010 ] HIS call, duration 1:57:31.
- How are you, what's new?.
- Yesterday met with a classmate, had not seen for twenty years, I'll like writing, remembered the school, classmates....
- I'm now half-day at home, sleep off gave.
- So a lot of work?.
- Let not the word. Come on you better. When and where you're going to rest?.
- What do you want to get rid of conversations with me, so I 'll take the laptop.
- I'll say is it?.
- No, I myself decided on your subject.
- You can not or do not want to be natural? .
- You're implying that you want to take off his shirt? .
- So you take off.
- I'm not talking about it. It's hot - it is a statement of fact. Shoot, I did not intend to, get along. And you, if you like, love.
- Well, admire.
- What do you have a birthmark on the right below the collarbone?.
- Always has been, do you remember?.
- I tell you what little I do not remember, a good. Or are we so differently perceive the past.
- And I'm telling you, be honest even with herself. What do you want actually?.
- I want to communicate with you.
- I, too,. More?.
- I am glad to see you no matter what.
- Now that pleases.
- What else will be pleased, perhaps, and I undress?.
- What can? .
- You already do not understand irony.
- I am serious. You're looking good. I want to see you.
- Yeah, now we'll have sex on Skype. Super....
[16. 07. 2010 15:34:52 ] Calling completed.
SHE. Photos seen, thanks. I have a break like a drug addict on the excursion into the past 20:26.
Of all my pictures rated last, like a classmate? .
Seriously, I do present my version of our relationship. I know my mistakes. In your own interest to today, not sure. If you arrive very, sorry, probably. You're in my life means a lot and therefore now, and what to do when everything in the past. 20:35.
17. 07. 2010 HE. First of all, appreciated you, and secondly, I am glad to know that I was starting to see light in a dark room. Thirdly, your view. first call on you acting positively, you were less stiff, and I loved it! .
SHE. Before lunch I go to the booth to shoot. As regards the complexity of life, and your advice be easier - an anecdote: a woman and a man asked if they come out, what percentage.
they meet a dinosaur. The man pondered, then replied about one hundred millionth, and the woman said, 50 to 50. Why? - Asked her. Because the meeting, or whether or not. My conclusion, you just have good memories of me, I came up with very much. But you are also something that miscalculated the. I want to forget you and could not 9:53.
OH. Is that good or bad? .
It is well that could not, therefore, have a chance to repeat 14:04.
OH. Truly God works in mysterious ways! .
SHE. Wow, look at. A mysterious, because it was waiting for a response? 14:14.
What do I care about so far? 14:15.
OH. No, wait - no one can know what the other in the head. And about the fire - so the gun does not.
hold. First, it is difficult to respond to vskidku, and secondly, you can not stay or shoulder bruises to fill. 14:26.
SHE. Again, criticism. This is the first frame, then the guys I have corrected the gun. What's in my head, and could suggest. 14:28.
By the way, your bosses correctly valued, as a professional you are super worked with me 14:29.
But where? .
OH I always prefer to base their ASSUMPTIONS. EARLY FINDINGS - ROAD TO ERROR. Thank you for your compliment. And as for I GREAT SHOOTING DOCA, I LOVE THIS CASE AND OTHER teach. IN CASE YOU AND CAN NOT AND DO NOT JUST THIS. In general, I 'm glad you're starting to be itself. WHAT ABOUT WHERE YOU LIKE MORE. ! .
Thanks to IT. The next time you write to talk about my arrival to earth.
promised good to you as a guide, and to come and see you. 14:44.
OH I LOVE YOU WEEK type on, say, when BETTER 14:47.
SHE. Only in the morning, but you work. You can, on Monday, Tuesday, tomorrow is busy, my husband has asked me to whom I speak, I answered honestly by name by: a classmate 14:50.
19. 07. 2010 IT life to be lived, so that in old age was ashamed to tell, but it's nice to remember. 22:20.
OH If passion will not be frank and shameless, you may not get any pleasure! . 22:26.
SHE AND Th rude, it is anecdote 22:27.
OH A. Understood, though each ANEKTDOT - THIS rational drawn from life 22:31.
SHE And why are you always writing me a sharp and unpleasant. You do not want to talk, I will be silent. 22:31.
ON the other hand, communicating with you - a lot of fun! .
so I talk with friends, easy to understand 22:37.
By the way did you decide where to distribute? 22:38.
What is SHE to distribute? .
20. 07. 2010 Do you even SHE did not understand. When I wrote ' Where? . Okay, I'll write what you want without a mirror and a dark room. We had a song after adjustment: you kiss me everywhere, I'm already grown up. 00:02.
OH!!!! .
SHE I can offer another option for the distribution of. Since there are four, one in Italy, the second - Austria, the third - Switzerland, the fourth - Israel. It would be more possible and more countries 13:27.
OH And about the moon - do not you think? . Can you imagine what fun! .
21. 07. 2010 SHE, of course, for you the moon as real as Italy, when it comes to me. 8:41.
22. 07. OH YOU CAN 2010 took up? .
Skype [ 9:38:56 ] his call, the duration 1:32:49.
- Hey, if it were possible, I would like to see you not as a distance.
- Hello. That you have nostalgia. Do not you need me, just then was young, had other priorities.
- You're talking not about. Here I'm talking about you.
- Just something does not give you peace at last.
- If a man is right, it means he does not worry about.
- Then why are you so aggressively flirting with me?.
- You left my heart an indelible mark.
- A smart people say that if a man makes a lot of compliments, he has as a goal.
- Similarly,.
- What?.
- And she think?.
- Did not think.
- Are you ashamed of something? .
- Here you are, and enjoyed.
- And unless you were against it?.
- I was a fool.
- I do not think you were sincere. I like people who do not lie, easier to communicate with them.
- Yeah, they immediately send. Okay, on the other about anything....
[22. 07. 2010 11:11:44 ] Calling completed.
SHE What happened? . Indeed, a long communication to the detriment? .
[ 11:18:40 ] HIS call, duration 58:38.
- Something with a link. You can hear me well, and you see it?.
- All is fine. I even like what I see. Although, you know, I can not get used to you now, it's you that Igor, whom I knew long ago, a young man.
- And I like you now.
- It's Skype distorts and perfect pictures.
- Do not sprinkle ashes on his head, and then as though she begs to compliment. And I myself can say it and say,. Do you remember how you and I....
[22. 07. 2010 12:17:18 ] Calling completed.
SHE the one hand, I like to communicate with you, on the other hand, the past prevents me there.
left some. I can not find the word. Before, I did not think that I have going on.
against you. Then another 30 years of life. It was in the past, all connected with you, I would like to forget 12:22.
Now, you came, I remember you always, but I do not know about your relationship to yourself. Although if you do not bother, I'm interested in you something that you keep things in a relationship or a catchy, if a person is indifferent, he will not do anything. I liked your memories about sex in the past, I have it all wiped out, I want to remember and can not. 12:34.
23. 07. 2010 SHE How are you? .
24. 07. 2010 He is a former neighbor who lived in the house opposite. YOU SHOULD KNOW HER, she was learning, I think, with you in parallel classes 11:29.
She listened, and I have the events in the life of the Mexican scenario series. How do you appear, in the sense made itself felt, they are like a snowball. 13:15.
OH What is this? . 20:46.
It accurately, it's time to relax and have fun, not to live as someone is obliged to. 20:48.
HE IS ALWAYS TELL YOU I. 20:50.
SHE Thanks for the advice, I will probably listen to you, you're right, this approach to the circumstances of a correct. 20:52.
Maybe you read this, I sent a friend today about my zamorochek. Laugh, and the.
Sorry for the ugly word, it is anecdote. 20:54.
OH OH and, thank God, now I am calm! .
SHE If you happened to trouble, and there is nothing you can do in this situation - do not despair, changed her attitude. Points of view can be set. Here are a few:.
Buddhism: If there was a bum - it really is not ass.
Hinduism: This ass has happened before.
Mormons: This ass is still going to happen.
Islam: If there was a bum - then on it was the will of Allah.
Catholicism: Ass happened because you were bad.
Calvinism: Ass happened from what we have worked hard enough.
Orthodoxy: Ass happened? .
Stoicism: This ass is my only benefit.
Hare Krishnas: Ass happened. The frame -frame.
Judaism: And why is this asshole just happens to us?.
Existentialism: What is the essence of 'ass '?.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good ass occurred! .
Rastafarianstva: Let zabem jamb of this ass!.
Subjective Solipsism: ass - that's me!.
The objective of solipsism: ass - it's you!.
Pessimism: a permanent ass! .
The Gestalt approach: And what do I care about this ass?.
Freudianism: Ass occurred in early childhood.
Nietzsche: What happened ass made me only stronger.
Jungian: What happened Butt is a manifestation of the archetype of the Great Mother.
There was an ass? .
OH And it is better to provide a beautiful ass, and all the troubles go by the wayside 20:59.
She is, I'm sorry, man's approach 21:00.
HE Why men? . in addition.
there are scientific polls, from which it appears that women and men appreciate the same 21:04.
SHE There are very few men, unlike women, they already belong to another, and us ladies poslebalzakovskogo age are bald, paunchy... Oh, where are my seventeen years on the coach- Large? .
OH. It all depends on the very ladies: whether to have a handsome, or. ! .
26. 07. 2010 SHE Hello .
27. 07. He began in 2010, and I'm not quite sure. I remember that come to you.
HOME, WHEN YOU come to me, I guess that I will get what he wanted long ago, and our relationship will SUDDENLY PHASE. IN CASE HEARD THAT YOU HAVE SOMEONE 16:35.
She met us on the telephone. About the Carpathians, I know what you wanted, I was scared, because not all represented. I arrived a to you, you can say whatever you want. Well, you answered later than I wish I could. Let's not bother, I'll write his own version, I think, to court for moral damages are not promptly supplied. There was no one, only admirer, I'll write about it in the book, and was a prelude to the rose of love, but did not like it. How many untruths:. : 18:12.
ON A lie by whom? .
28. 07. 2010 it is in general well. Question stupid and provocative. A man has what he wants. I'm wrong in some cases, how to build a relationship with you, you know, and do not ask. You're not an angel, and your position in life that makes you white and fluffy in your eyes, it is your perception of the world. It is now you're a psychologist, learned to penetrate the soul of criminals, but I is not a criminal, at least for myself, if someone is not comfortable, to me, if you did not like before, everything has already passed. 11:16.
I am well or ill, but you remember all those 30 years. And now I talk to you, and may be able to meet in real life, not just to write to you and talk on Skype, even though.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what might be, as any uncertainty, that was not in a bad, or in.
good will not come back, and not go twice in one water. 11:36.
He twice did not occur on the rake! . It is different - warm and cold, blue and black, calm and stormy. This, my joy, and all the fun! . In the HER can sit, And It is unpleasant. IF NOT.
Think of you all this time - and would not seek. Simply, I 'm on this - other. And white and fluffy do not consider myself probably similar to the local cactus. It is called TSABAR. He is a very thorny particularly its fruits. They are tearing - is a real problem. But inside they are very tasty and healthy. 18:06.
She tore thee? .
He picked ME - I wonder for what purpose? .
IT 's nice to overcome obstacles, and then receive an award in something good, the sweetness of 22:54.
29. 07. 10 OH I am glad that slowly begins to go into the Suta 20:03.
30. 07. 10 OH I'm at work, Come in the afternoon, Naber YOU 10:38.
02. 08. 2010 she and I waited. At first angry, then I remembered that you have a job and family. Then read the news about the attack in Eilat Yandex, then. Well, there was no news of you 30 years, and now why should I? . 15:15.
05. 08. 2010 he took it - a blockage in the workplace, and things such as Eilat and the fact that.
was on the border with Lebanon, added ' headache '. I do not understand about the connection, as it is understood. I.
HOME TODAY 11:50.
Skype [05. 08. 2010 13:18:48 ] Missed Calls on Him.
[05. 08. 13:23:26 2010 ] e call, duration 00:06.
[05. 08. 13:26:18 2010 ] HIS call, duration 1:56:30.
- Hi, I'm free. How are you, what's new? .
- Hello. I'm glad to see you.
- It is well.
- You know, I still can not understand why you need to communicate with me. You say that I'm repeating myself.
- true. Do you already own are doing the right conclusions, go further. And do not invent, everything is easier.
- You know, I just like to hear what I have to still like me.
- So I am ready to repeat it. And that would be repeated with you all the memorable moments.
- And something new?.
- And accept the proposal.
- Why do not you want to build a relationship first wife?.
- I wish she did not want to.
- But two of you and you are equally build a relationship.
- Yes, and I was wrong, probably.
- And the second? .
- And where to go?.
- But this is not fair.
- Why is not fair, I said that what I wanted, she knew and accepted this.
- And you took her condition?.
- If it did not suit, it would not be with me.
- Listen, you always think you are right. Would you like for your daughters a husband as you yourself?.
- Yes.
- Just some kind of magnetism about you, and you have many or certain to attract women. And I succumbed to this provocation.
- Are you serious?.
- No, just kidding. Just do not understand myself why I want it.
- And you think, Maruska....
[05. 08. 2010 15:22:48 ] Calling completed.
IT IS 15:26.
Skype [06. 08. 12:12:45 2010 ] HIS call, the duration of PA: 42.
[06. 08. 12:34:32 2010 ] e call, duration 1:36:49.
-... Do not worry, I'm jealous of her husband cope. I do not get used. He is jealous for no reason.
- Today I am wearing a shirt, one that does not confuse.
- You are a white color.
- And you never seemed to me a new bathing suit.
- You what? .
- Why are you shy?.
- I'm not shy, just do not think it necessary to do.
- I'm actually worried about you, you just all right?.
- Did we're doing something that may seem crazy?.
- We know. With you I rest, when we communicate. I like it when you smile.
- And I smile, because it remembered your posts.
- What is it caused you smile?.
- You first wrote that you do not know why I found later that relate to me good memories, then I remembered, and therefore always found... What is true?.
- All.
[06. 08. 2010 14:11:21 ] Calling completed.
All this talk provoked a strong protest from husband. He and his party was right to be jealous, for communicating with his wife, the former... was drawn to commit adultery. And even it was verbal, words are not born out of nowhere. First there were the images of. The images were provocative. And sometimes frightening and unpleasant physical is not treason, which can be spontaneous, physiological. I do not want to face the betrayal of emotional, sensual, it is treacherous beats when relaxed and not expecting. However, the husband got what he has sown. Not trusting the other, I do not get trust. He was able to instill that experience with the former should be removed from the everyday memory. But I could not convince that the experience of living with himself valuable to his wife. Valuable to the extent that it will make a choice in its favor. But you can forgive an insult when you understand the offender. Is it possible to understand a person with morals, which differs from your. Another moral is not a perversion, which is unacceptable, but should not necessarily be to compromise its principles. Our past is not going anywhere.
06. 08. 2010 she debriefing was held tomorrow morning everything will go for a walk, and I 'll call in 10-11. 16:01.
OH I HOPE THAT a spin and NO KAPOTAZHA. I'll Be Home 19:14.
She's good, I'm just pretending And your still jealous 19:16.
He again made a mistake! .
With my own ears, she knows that there is no sense and reason for jealousy, T. to.
ONLY ITS DEMONSTRATION WILL END OF NORMAL RELATIONS. MAXIMUM WILL PAY CHILD SUPPORT, AND HER THIS IS NOT NECESSARY 19:22.
SHE No, you, I'm sorry, did not understand. Simply, we already talked about the gestures, facial expressions and so on. While I was talking to you, she found it necessary to set the record straight and. Of course there is no external. But why come to you to hug and kiss, to show - that's my man. In the animal world is understandable, plus the smile, the teeth do not show friendliness, and superior. In general, anything you do not very much in the psychology of women, we do smarter than you 19:28.
09. 08. 2010 she Tomorrow I 'm going. You have a once a week in an Internet. You want, get back on Skype, I take a laptop. Good luck in business, in, in, in, etc.... n. 9:26.
OH HELLO! . SAW,.
That you are calling, tried to score at YOU TURNED OUT, HOT PICTURES TO ME.
Liked it! . to. YOU FLY WITH CONFIDENCE, just need to be brave 19:42.
Stage of ... Why is friendship turned in quotes, but just because she was mistaken, and as always wanted more than he could offer. And yet, because there is a Russian proverb: Strike while the iron is hot. The past is the past and it is. Currently, it is now, and there is no place of his or her wish to meet in real life. Future based on past and present, who do not promise any friendships.
Chapter Seven. forced reality.
August. Friday morning.
Thirty years after your departure to another country, I 'm sitting on the Black Sea coast, admiring a small hill, like a hedgehog trying to taste the sea water. And think of you today. I am afraid that this is a new myth. His character is not you so what is the. You are so, what wanted me to see you. You are so, what I come up with a back. Escape from reality to myth. You was not thick and not bald. You have a pretty well - impressive form. You do not even like you so far, for your words, the opposite sex. And in fact you have the companion of life on half a dozen years younger. You converse with me for some reason, and even trying to positively influence these conversations with me. You teach it professionally. And I have three decades has taken the game into flirtation and friendship. Do I want to meet you in reality? . After all, that was you, as you were not brought back. And I certainly understand that the seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, it is not fifty or fifty-three. I just do not understand why after thirty years, look for one which was not what he wanted. The one which, if there was something, but not as willing. Tu, who has invented, and complicated the. I am afraid of this meeting, and therefore declare that I do not want it. I am jealous of who came up and wanted to forget about someone. You are right. We are what were before, but here are able to consider whether all, or are still confused. Although we experienced, in some ways smarter, more calculating, more kind, resourceful, confident and older. And the happier you? . When you get the desired, you become interested. Or maybe it is a condition where you are going to target? . For many disappointments along the way, stops and dead ends. Happiness is just a moment.
Do not think for these thirty years, whichever comes a time when you will remember me. The term real dating, that is what we have communicated with each other (with breaks of course) seven years. But there are people who I know longer, but hardly a virtual meeting with them could cause so many different emotions. If I saw you in the ... My first step would be watching over your account.
When I thought of you, or set up a how like to see next to him, you were worse than the original. The hero was so independent, that should have been easy to ignore what does not fit into the restrictive framework. And now you're not mine, although the hero. You are, in reality, but again, you live in a strange myth. Compromised, because the woman next to you a young, independent, in a jealous heart (YES!), who gave birth to you two more daughters. Intelligent woman, I think it will gradually find how to turn your lawful wedded husband. Even if someone says that marriage is legally little difference in some situations, the status of the spouses, not just the mother 's favorite daughters, still more advantageously. And you do not molodeesh not bogateesh, and with age your weaknesses (and who do not have ) made more familiar to you, but are more annoying to others.
August. Friday evening.
This is the diary. That is, the synthesis of myth and reality. Do not wait for the truth in his diary. The fact that the writer gives a reality, is itself only partially. Pages of the diary - is what he wants to see the world around mifotvorets.
I'm sitting in the yard under a tree overgrown barberry bushes near the fence on the left of hibiscus. Nearby, green mountains, entirely covered by forest. Turning pink sunset and the huge yellow -and-white moon, lazy slide-out because the top of the nearest hill. I inhale the scent of roses, feel the lightest touch of the breeze. Ends in August, but here in the foothills of the Caucasus last summer for another month, and I will use this. In the meantime, I think you said that the need to love yourself. After all, it is true, love is not necessarily beautiful in appearance. They love to internally self-confident. You became my motivation. You became a ... You just became a friend ( long? ), Who does not care about the other person. And I believe you.
The spa area includes looseness. But not every lady for fifty men will have signs of attention. Especially if it rests not one, but with the children and grandchildren.
- You are not from Ekaterinburg?.
- No.
- You like my classmate.
- But you know what is like, but it does not....
- You know that, and let the evening we go to the sea.
- And your wife? .
- My wife is watching TV, which it replaces interaction with people.
- How do you feel about water activities?.
- It depends on what kind of holiday.
- Sail on a catamaran at sea away from the beach and swim in clean water.
- But I do not swim well enough to experience pleasure when under me in the bottom of the depth of ten meters.
- Trust me.
It can be seen not by chance that I paid attention to you then. Let not herself, but by someone else's advice, decided to test themselves. I realized that I should become a hero now, are not you and not some other man. And the hero and the creator - a person. I'm going to do a. This is my life. And the second (I'm an atheist ), I will not have. I remember thirty years, you do not recalled but nothing concrete. It seemed that there was no good ( deceiving yourself), and the poor - why? . It is a pity that you still do not dream. Although it is clear to me. And to be honest, I wanted to see the same dream, that you (when I dreamed of you ). If you can not be repeated in reality, it is sometimes more real than waking dream. And what's the moral? . But the physical infidelity is very common for people to forgive each other and humble themselves to them. A dream that dream without the participation of consciousness. Did my unconscious is immoral? . The one who last thirteen years happily or not prefer to be in the so-called guest Marriage.
I thought that the husband is a friend and lover, and... - all rolled into one. But the jealous can not be a true friend. Unfortunately, I believe in your friendly intentions than in its. When you tell me that I was simply not coming up with nonsense, and smiled, I believe that it is genuinely. After all, we are thousands of miles away from each other, we have everything, and nothing will be. Even if some of us want real meeting, to use another, you need a mutual coincidence of wants. And when my better half said the same words, he, unfortunately, takes care of himself, too. If he could, he would have long since gone, but he does not, although it has many opportunities to cut, untie, to end the relationship. Something to keep. Wont be with me, fear of being alone and hope that things will get better for him.
August. resurrection.
Today, I am lying under a tree, walnut, which is the fruit ripen. In the blue sky drone aircraft, bound for Sochi. And I conclude, I remember what it was (as before his death ), and convinced that the life of any person depends on more than ninety percent of himself. Simply, we are accustomed to in their misfortunes and failures to blame other people and circumstances that allegedly does not depend on us. This is an excuse. Admit to myself: we are so comfortable.
September. Monday.
Kiwi, trailing vine twisted to my window, and not ripe, and figs, are widely grown to the gate, still very small and green. A favorite for the mythical hero who changed his name to tanahskoe and, therefore, tried to change fate ( as many think ), I was ready for anything that touched my body, soul and mind. But just wanted my body ( it can be used in a delight, and can be exchanged for something else), and I would be forgiven, because it is for him, loved one, the one who created the. Sometimes the soul is required so that it struck the abyss of despair, and betrayal experienced. The mind just putting off going to the memory cell, so that later I could use the experience.
Those present, who offered ... He has another name, an unexpected job, apparently only in the eyes and smile lurks the one who lovingly created. Why talk to him, look at it, think about it? .
Just a good thing that I know about you. I like that you have four children. I like that you have more daughters. I like that you changed the name. You're different.
The paradox that the reduced gematria tanahskoe your new name denotes the number eight. In my name the same number of. We have the ability to implement our plans.
About the name, you can do a lot of talk. And do not necessarily know the value, or fall under treatment, and to accept the name as a symbol of. Knowing nothing about phonosemantics, but just being able to listen to the sound of the name, always tell who in front of you. After all, the holder of a name often heard the sound of his constituents and respond to them. And so to understand where the deaf, where the ringing, roaring and hissing where, where soft and hard can any. And the sound of the name will produce a certain effect. And you, ... First on Skype ... ... And then suddenly, after a silence in my skype message: ... Who is your favorite? . I can repeat for Tsvetaeva: ...
Epilogue mythical.
In Turkey, the rain. Here, on the other side of the Black Sea, has pasmurneet. I fell asleep, sitting on a wooden swing. Adam came over and warned that comes close windows, weather service warned of a storm. Swing around bushes and hollyhocks barhottsev that reach here in the south almost meter-high, swaying rhythmically, and lull. Afternoon runs slow, creaking chain swings a little. Again I hear the voice of Adam, he was talking with someone about a spreading vine kiwi. His companion elusive accent (although many speak with an accent). Voices are removed, then close. The steps....
- My favorite....
I open my eyes. Sky completely prolonged low clouds, which hurt the low mountains. soars.
Epilogue surreal.
- Come, you're wanted.
- And you will not regret it? .
- Do not invent anything. To understand something and to make sure, we must first make.
- Good.
I'm going to Domodedovo, stuck in traffic on the Moscow Ring Road. Ended drive «Quinn», until the son is looking for something different, listen to the news:.
- As reported by the Israeli authorities, now at seven o'clock in the morning unknown persons opened fire on a police car from the city... In this case the attackers managed to escape from the scene. During the ensuing firefight killed one Israeli policeman... I'm not going....
Epilogue realistic.
And yet it so happened that I was going to fly El Al Israeli company to the promised land. Just four days with his brother ( the call of the blood), is no longer possible, leave has not come just for the weekend. Ginny is not the first persuades. How has returned from a holiday, Yigal only a couple of times on the phone.
18. 09. 2010. OH. HELLO! . AS a rest? .
SHE. Differently. And why has not made my new address in skype? .
20. 09. 2010. SHE. Where are you? .
24. 09. 2010 HE. Hello! . ? .
SHE. I write a report? . How are you? .
28. 09. 2010 HE. It's okay, I have a couple days at home, say, when CALL 12:57.
SHE, now six, or after nine, it is possible and tomorrow night 14:52.
Skype [28. 09. 16:35:36 2010 ] HIS call, duration 59:58.
- Glad to see you again.
- Hello. How are you?.
- All is well. Like a rest? .
- Well, of course. It does not reflect the truth skype.
- Then the show.
- Here is another. You're my special provotsiruesh. you will not wait.
- Exactly? .
Tell me more, did you relax? .
- In a week with children Elat. How are you?.
- I put pictures on the page.
- Little. Where is the beach? .
- I do not need it. I love you to the place I want to. Will you? .
[28. 09. 2010 17:35:34 ] Calling completed.
29. 09. 2010 she. Hello, today is not the fate of. I feel that is abusing. Just do not remember anything from the past. Just wanted to see again, might have something to remember, be presented, dream. Since I live not to meet 21:20.
05. 10. 2010 HE. Again, silly morning talk 00:44.
SHE is already a day, 16:10.
Skype [09. 10. 19:49:25 2010 ] e call, duration 33:41.
- Hello. Today I'm an initiator, call your.
- Hello. What's the difference? .
- What are you doing? .
- No, the seeds eat and drink wine.
- An interesting mix of.
- Where is yours?.
- Walk until.
- And you're not with them.
- A lot of work, they left me alone to rest.
- I 'm in the way?.
- But I say to thee,. And you still change your hairstyle and hair color.
- And I'm still waiting for a notice. And all of you men are the same.
- I immediately noticed, but did not immediately say.
- I have always been in any kind of glad to see you. You're like my sister....
[09. 10. 2010 20:23:06 ] Calling completed.
13. 10. 2010 IT Hi, I completely forgot and did not even walk into. My brother is going to Israel, calling me for a week. But I do not know yet 19:32.
15. 10. 2010 HE. Enough work, and a good idea 2:53.
I wrote to him and dropped a message on the site of ... But he is rarely there. Maybe a lot of work, maybe it really is too much dialogue, and only strains. Said the flight number and date of departure, there will want to meet, depend only on him, and of the circumstances ( work, family...) The plane flies in a terribly inconvenient time. At two in the morning. I dream a dream. I walk into a house, inside it is greater than the outside. I go on some floors, looking for something or someone, but no one can help in this quest... My brother wakes me up. declared fit.
Chisinau - Dzhubga - Moscow. 2010.
Permanent address.
