Infernalnitsa

Probably, each emigrant at least once a thought to go back to where left. Not at all, certainly. Just one day, breaking the attendant doubts such a step, to collect the suitcase and go take a look: how it is there now? . And to make it, barely conscious obedience to the impulse to have once and for all get rid of nostalgia, or, having gone through her ​​remission, to feel a painful attack of a new. The past is not forgotten. Is that all that remains is to chase away the memories, if they are oppressed, or to cherish them as sacred when they are the only island of happiness. Not to mention the fact that the past can live. Yes, and ends with a past at all?.
Alex was probably the only one among his friends, who, after coming to America and never has visited Odessa. And it was he, a man who has left her with a broken heart and tears in his eyes? . So in fact, no! . Yeah, here they are oddities of nature the emigre. And, Alec pulled the old continent almost two years after he more or less settled down in America. Suddenly bored through the ancient city, which had never before seen, and his soul obolozhilo a melancholy death, which was fit to drop everything to hell. At least for the time. In short, mature enough to travel far, having the only green card and permission to re-entry into the country. And like, there is nothing to fear, but without a passport to cross the border, yet, somehow uncomfortable.
- Why do not you prokatishsya to Odessa? .
- There is now a class! .
Alex is not without interest in listening to the stories of eyewitnesses, smiled, did not object, but, nevertheless, did not go there. Why not? . For fear of disappointment, for example. So, anyway, he explained the motives of his countrymen particularly bothersome, and at the same trying to convince himself.
They say that by avoiding a meeting with his first love, you can keep the flavor. You should not be subjected once again the loss of illusions - and so they have enough in my life. And so sentimental person town where he was born and raised, not less expensive than ever loved a woman. The same emotion from past experiences. So Alex has kept in Odessa, the most vibrant feelings. Therefore, probably, was in no hurry to go back to where he had to spend the best years. He remembered all too well how one day fate brought him to the school attachment. It is better to have never happened. The girl, who he so often dreamed of, has grown. Faced with her, Alex suddenly taken aback by what he saw striking discrepancy ordinary aunt in a cheap coat and a snotty kid in her arms, to the delicate flower - image, he cherished in his heart. The fragile character of something unattainable beauty at once yellow and faded, like a fluorescent lamp, burning too long and went out forever. Alec wanted to or not, but it unexpectedly met, at first no signs of a fracture in his mind, so dispelled the last remnants of a love obsession, that he, a sigh of relief, even involuntarily thought:.
... However, the God of mercy. But I could be her husband. ...
So with the Odessa. The last thing Alex, as he believed, wanted to look at it is a completely different light. It seems crazy to go there and wanted to see, but even more afraid to be disappointed. City, remembered him romantically beautiful, now, after the splendor of European capitals, it would seem zadripannym and provincial. Well, how not to fear him? . It Alec ashamed to admit, but it was she and not some other excuse, determined the choice of his next route.
The case was the fact that Alex is elementary ashamed to appear in Odessa poor. That is, he has not seen for themselves the moral possibilities go back to an ordinary loser. He wanted to welcome the winner on a white horse and with the weighty spoils, rather than pay a visit to the quiet unobtrusive visitor - one of thousands of ants, workers, changed, in the end, sewed on the soap. This is because, before, in the mid-eighties, all in rags, rolled into Odessa from the States, which he could pour it over the entire ocean from a capitalist. Cost to bring such a gift of happiness spacey family VCR and a cheap bag of rags, as it has the whole neighborhood legends. Millionaire! .
In America, he went off just before the collapse of the Soviet Union, when some of the potential emigrants walked all kinds of legends and myths. As such, sustainable stories about the unprecedented generosity of the sponsors of Aboriginal.
- Represent, directly from the airport brought in a fully furnished apartment with a refrigerator clogged! .
Oh, these furnished mansions and refrigerators lomivschiesya. What kind of terrible poverty should be experienced by those who struck America sofas, upholstered in almost paper, variegated crockery and food parcels to refugees? . And much newfound sybaritism not run in the morning at breakneck speed to the bathroom until it was occupied neighbor and agile in general, seemed to riding bliss. Say what you like, and arranged for the life of you will go anywhere.
By such poor fellows, hlebnuvshim up with no money and housing is dashing, Alec did not belong, and immediately realized that the status quo in America - a separate apartment and own car, does not light material success. Even a luxurious fur coat, which he bought for his wife Lyudmila zimnenmu season, did not witness prosperity of the family. In Odessa it Lyudochka would look at it as a noblewoman, but here, where the natural furs wrapped against the cold almost half of Brighton, it seemed offensive to all. And, in general, self-esteem in America Alec as decreased hemoglobin in the blood of the wrong food in unusual circumstances. That is why, perhaps, grow it into an American way of life with great difficulty. Could not find a decent job, but even with a muddle, sitting, did not feel any satisfaction from the kind of employment or on wages. I wanted something bigger. To pay and better prospects, and to let loomed pootchetlivey. In short, secretly suffering. Not that some of his buddies who did not know how to be thankful to give them a chance to malaria can not Odessa, but in New York. One of them Dodik, who became famous crazy tales of how his uncle was doing custom jewelry earrings Lady of itself, I felt completely happy. And admit it Alex in his own confusion, so he just shook his finger to his temple:.
- scatty.
Dodik Life has changed in exactly the extent that he bought pork chops are no longer at his rubalshika on Privoz, and went to the ... However, not only. Even when meeting he held out his hand, now complacently called himself Mr..
Mr. Alex himself did not feel. As in general, anyone. His days were rolling smoothly and without abrupt bends. The work of the house but a Russian restaurant on holidays and name day. Became the only outlet for his forays into Europe. Once a year, and the extremely short-lived. Only part of a tourist group from the airline ... There were no notable events and continuous turmoil in the soul - this is all that Alex could boast at the time when it found the greetings from Odessa. And as usual, there is a completely unexpected manner.
One day in New York showed up Mayechka. With Alex it was once familiar and very close. Obviously, that's why she has not seen for themselves the obstacles to call him.
- Here come look at American life - she chirped cheerfully, - and along with friends to see.
The last words uttered Mayechka so that Alik something wrong heart sank.
- You're not happy?.
- No. Why not? .
- How are you? . And although it had not seen Alex for more than twenty years, he could not hear her voice familiar affectionate notes.
- Normal. How are you? .
- Do not know. As it will. I wanted to show her father's daughter.
Mayechka suddenly stopped, maintaining a meaningful pause.
- And do not you ask who he is?.
- And why I should be asking about this? .
- Well. I do not know. After all, you and I could theoretically be a child.
- Maia - Alex firmly interrupted her, - in my opinion, we then decided. Is not it?.
- Have you decided.
- What do you mean?.
- And that, dear, that you gave money to an abortion, and washed his hands prespokoynenko. That's just an abortion, I do not become.
In Alik on sekudu lost his voice, as if he choked on a piece of boiled bacon indyuschachey. He instantly I recalled those days and hassle associated her bad mood.
- Are you serious?.
Imagine that the young lady, intelligent and good-looking, wants to give birth without a husband just does not fit in the head.
... And why is she silent all this time - flashed a natural suspicion - and what they want to achieve now?. ...
- Yes, you do not worry - Mayechka, though after reading disturbing thoughts arising Alik, patronizing laughed into the phone.
- I have no complaints. Irisha, thank God, was twenty-one. an adult. Very much the bride. By the way, want to see it, call. I stood with a friend.
Maya leisurely and clearly dictated the room, confident in the quickness of the former gentleman to find a pencil and paper. But already in his honesty, and a fortiori.
She was not mistaken. Alex frantically wrote down a phone number, and remained prostrate now in indescribable. And what would 've been feeling very soul of a responsible man, suddenly became the father of an adult daughter? .
Throughout the night Alex did not sleep a wink. Tossed from side to side, turning over in your short romance with Mayechkoy, so any thought of what not to. The story he saw a very strange. Maya has always been a good idea in mind. Even talking to her very briefly, Alex could see no difficulty with whom to deal. She belonged to the type of women who never expected a happy coincidence as the girl at the window, holding his gentle fist on the cheek, languor, and sighed to himself:.
- And where there is out there zapropostilas?.
On the contrary, such Mayechke practical person - open the gates a little wider, so that she, poor thing, God forbid, do not get lost hour and the door was not mistaken:.
- Hey, girl! . Well, to fool, sack? .
Try it, give up such an invitation? . After all, even about the pregnancy she had said quite calmly, with the intention of it ibavitsya. And without any accompanying such a situation, the oscillations. Like, is familiar to the doctor and for two hundred rubles to have an abortion. She took the money and split it.
Alex 's wife decided all that means nothing to devote. And though, Ludmila is not jealous of his pre-marital relations, it is still hint about such nonsense Alik seemed awkward. However, even he did not believe Mayechke bezogovorchno, but, nevertheless, offered to meet. Fortunately for him, Ludmila worked for the upcoming Saturday, which gave the place a chance Alik without her knowledge to spend a couple hours of newly-born daughter and her mother. And much to lose from prying eyes in New York City easier than ever. We decided to go to lunch together.
Mayechka has changed, turning from cute girls in respectable lady. And now look far worse than girls, which appeared in an Italian restaurant, where they invited Alex. Both, stylishly dressed, they are not hurt by the impression of women's lives. And in the eyes of the young person and, logically, his daughter, Alex noticed gnawing conscience reproach the child fatherless. On the contrary, they looked at him, if not indifferent curiosity, then certainly with no conviction.
- Well, here's Irisha, you can rightfully call this man dad - Alec introduced Maya. He was embarrassed and suddenly found myself thinking that the girl is looking in the face of its own features. His family hooked nose and a slightly receding chin, he inherited from his mother and the grandmother. Is there any outward sign that a sign opoznovatelny tell him of their kinship. Carefully examine the girl Alex hesitated, but then, from time to time, threw on Irina biased views, as if to try on a new status.
- Welcome - ceremoniously greeted the girl.
- That's the way I have always imagined - she added warmth.
- What is - finally broke the silence tense Alex, inspired by her friendly tone.
- An interesting man with whom I would like to appear before druzmi. I certainly would have experienced the pride of presenting you as his father.
Irina smiled apologetically, not hiding regret for what has so far been deprived of.
During lunch, no one is in a hurry. To begin with Alex ordered a bottle of wine and carpaccio. In between snacks Mayechka decided to temporarily absent himself. It is as if purposely left Alec and Irina alone, and when I returned, they found making friends. Father and daughter some lively discussions about. At parting, they embraced each other, even.
The next day Alex continued to be under the impression of nagging emotional meeting, but even under the stronger of the explanations Mayechkoy.
- You are so fast then agreed - she laughed bitterly when Alex started talking about what happened between them.
- As if afraid of what I got in mind to give birth. Oh, Alex, you have no idea how much warning the men ready to pay for an abortion may be offensive to women. I thought that it betrayed me, you. And I wanted to hear your protest. Well, at least one word in defense of the unborn child. Our baby!.
In Mayechki welled in her eyes the tears.
- Then I found out that you're with someone you meet. Even saw you with her in the city.
Do not interfere with your happiness was. Yes, and heart, as you know, not command. After all, the particle remained with me loved. Well, how could I decide to go under the knife?.
Alex listened to her, tormented, and forgetting the old doubts. And let him have long felt nothing for the woman 's honor and dignity immediately prompted to offer her some help feasible.
- Because you will not mind? .
- I want to do it for Irina. Please do not refuse me.
Behind the scenes a month passed and one evening at dinner Lyudmila shared with Alec fresh gossip, brought by her from the ...
- I've got smenschitsa, also Russian. Yes, I told you about it. Lilka! . Do you remember? .
- Yeah, - Alex nodded mechanically, without any interest. For news about the personal lives of his countrymen, he felt complete indifference.
- Hey, is told! . Do not believe what vytvorila. Comedy!.
- Gastrolersha?.
- Not a word. And like, at the age of queer, but managed to roll out this week are just two guys. Moreover, the full program.
- Able - said Alex, continuing to chew on and listen with half an ear.
- And what is it they so fascinated? .
- The fact of the matter is that the place is not what you think. She worked them before - Liudmila laughed - and now more and more, head. He made these bad Mulgi of adult daughters.
- In what sense? .
- Naplela currently duscheschipatelnuyu history. Well, sort of what had once slept with each of them and then brought up a child.
- Whose Child?.
- Alex, are you not cut one's way? . Tracked down the phone numbers of their former boyfriends, which had once entertained, and a surprise to everyone, they say, you, dear friend, a child of. A find in the New York men, friends from Odessa who have the stigma of a gun, a simple matter. Oh where, where, as here, thank God, has settled nearly half Modavanki.
- And they believe? .
- How can you not believe, if my daughter presented as evidence. Lilkina friend of some local young Wild Child found her steward, and paid for a meeting with her beloved father. Well, they let a tear for the more convincing, or at the neck, raschuvstvovashis, rush to the parent. In general, to act according to circumstances. And what do you think? . Even the restaurants have led. Watered and fed to the first category.
The tone was heard Ludmilla involuntary respect to the saucy wench, who managed to bamboozle the two so elegantly naive simpletons. And though she went ugly, playing on the best men's feelings of compassion for its victims obmishurivshimsya Lyudmila did not feel.
- I believe that this resourceful beauty and to have an abortion at one time with each of them received. Which, by the way never done.
- No?. - Alex looked at the distraught pokvetsanny stuffed cabbage, and cooled at the plate. The appetite had disappeared completely.
- Naturally! . For one such Muncie were always in the order of things.
- And where is she now? .
- Who? . Walked plenty in New York, stingy, repulsed the trip, thanks to his ingenuity, and return home. In Odessa.


Viktor Berdnik.



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